cancer

by talesin 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  talesin

  what do you say to your friend when (s)he tells you they are have terminal cancer?
• 

  Robdar

  Oh, Talesin, that is a tough one.

  I don't know that there is anything that can be said. I think the first thing I would do is hug her. And then I would let her talk. Sometimes silence is best. Just let her talk. Also let her know that you will be there for her.

  What awful news. It must be devastating for you.

  Many hugs,

  Robyn
• 

  Ravyn

  I said, " I am so very sorry, what can I do for you right now?" then you cry with them or laugh with them or what ever they need you to do. The next conversation I had was along the lines of chances for remissions and cures, alternative treatments and how to make sure things were taken care of in case of the worst.

  Ravyn
• 

  WildHorses

  Talesin,

  My neighbor, who lives across the street just found out last week that she has cancer. It has already spread all over her body. She was admitted in the hospital two nights ago because she is having trouble breathing.

  The worst part is that she just had a baby three months ago and will not be able to she her grow up. It's really sad.

  I to did not know what to say to her, but I did tell her if she needs me for anything to just let me know.
• 

  Scully

  How about:

  • I am so sorry to hear that.
  • I am here for you. Do you want to talk about this?
  • What can I do to help you with this?
  • I love you.

  Love, Scully
• 

  Mary

  Talesin:

  You tell your friend DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE DOCTORS SAY!! I know, I was diagnosed with cancer last year. It looks as though we caught it in time, but even if they had told me "there's no hope" I'd have said "screw that" and looked at ALL my options. Please print the following sites off and give them to your friend. The book "Love Medicine and Miracles" is a MUST for any cancer patient. I read it after my diagnosis and it helped me enormously.

  http://www.bookman.com.au/bookdetail.cfm/TitleID/195

  The Breuss Cancer Cure has been around for a hundred years:

  http://www.bookman.com.au/bookdetail.cfm/TitleID/195

  http://www.allbookstores.com/book/0920470564

  The Gerson Therapy has also helped many people overcome seemingly "incurable" cancer and other diseases.

  http://www.gerson.org/

  Tell your friend to keep her chin up and never give up hope. God Bless.
• 

  talesin

  Thanks, folks

  I had a long talk with him, and told him I was here to support in any way he wanted. He has already undergone some treatment and was reluctant to disclose as he feared that friends will pressure him to try extreme measures that he does not want. I assured him I will respect his right to decide treatment options. He was relieved to hear that. So, it will be a rough path, but now he knows my support will be of the non-interfering kind.

  Happy to receive yr thoughts, stories & encouragement.

  Scully, may pm you after I digest this for a few days. Thanks for the offer of support.
• 

  mouthy

  Nothing you can say except how sorry you are to hear it. My daughter told me she had it also ( she died) All I could do was hug her & say " you will beat it" I was STILL a false prophet wasnt I-She didnt.
• 

  freein89

  Talesin and Mouthy,

  I am so very sorry. I lost my brother to cancer 3 years ago. It is a horrible thing. Talesin, just keep up the contact with your friend, sometimes people withdraw because they don't know what to say or do. It sounds like he has a faithful friend in you. I am sure he appreciates your non-interference the best you can do is to let him lead the conversation, he will know what he needs and when he needs it.

  I live in Wisconsin and my brother lived in Los Angeles, I went to see him two weeks before he died. I spent a week there, going to see him in the hospital every day. One day we snuck out of the hospital to go have a beer and two days later he was on a respirator, when I left he was in a coma. I will always cherish the memory of that beer.

  Deb
• 

  JH

  My mother had breast cancer in 1995. She had a partial mastectomy on one breast. She had chemotherapy which made her sick and then she had radiation treatments. She was 65 at the time.

  She tried to stay positive throughout this terrible ordeal.

  Today she is fine and feels well.

  Everyday I see her, it's like a gift, knowing that I could have lost her to that terrible disease.