How many of you went to the elders when you / someone did something wrong ?

by run dont walk 39 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Latin assassin from Manhattan

  I've found that JW wives are usually the first to go to the elders when the hubby isn't being man enough in the home. If he decides to stay home a couple of Saturdays, or if he goes out for beers with the guys, you can count on his wife to rat him out.

  But of course, when the wife decides to keep a stack of romance novels hidden in her dresser, or when she's up all night visiting chat rooms, there's no one making phone calls about her. Do you think a husband is going to call another man and tell on his wife?
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  freedom96

  I never went to the elders to confess, and never would have. The only time I was brought before them, was as a teenager, and my parents felt that the elders should know any time I messed up.

  I really was a good kid, but there were two times that I messed up a little, but it should have been handled within the home.

  One time was because I lied about doing my homework. Can you believe it?
• 

  unique1

  I did plenty of things wrong, but I never ONCE even considered going to the elders.
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  Elsewhere

  Oh hell no... I always wondered why people did that.
• 

  badolputtytat

  check this out...

  My birth mother was disfellowshipped when I was two. Didnt meet her again for about 13 years...(blah blah blah)

  WHY you ask..

  Three years after my birth parents were married, my father (now an elder) went to the elders of the time and confessed that they had "relations" before they were married. The birth-mother wouldn't fess up and was put on public reproach. She apparently (by both their stories) stood up in the middle of the KH and reemed my dad and the announcing elder.

  She's dead now. But there is some sort of twisted irony to the whole thing. At least she died free. I didnt really know her that well, but I commend her.
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  mizpah

  My wife and I decided early on that we would never go to the elders for personal problems. Some of the "elders" were young and single and never had any experience with marriage or children. Most of the older "elders" were not to be trusted with confidential matters. (Their wives were often the gossipers of the congregation and knew everything about everyone.)

  However, we knew many JWs who did divulge the most private and intimate details of their lives. And, predictably, it became common knowledge in the congregation.

  My wife and I never regretted our decision. And we've had a long and successful marriage.
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  Gadget

  I went to the elders and confessed, but only because somebody else had found out what was going on and if I hadn't of they were going to. I figured that it would go easier for me if they thought I'd gone volountarily. I still didn't tell the full story, just the bits that the other person knew.
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  OICU8it2

  Yeah, I sent my teenage daughter in to them. Afterall, if you don't confess, you are sharing in the sins of others. So she told the elders about a minor thing. She was disciplined, the involved others denied it all including an elder's daughter. The result was she was the only one punished and half the kids shunned her for ratting them out. That was rough for a while but at least our prayers wouldn't be hindered and our service blessed. More service is what was going to heal my daughter so that's what we did. Well, maybe I'm not being blessed with a Bible study from constant efforts in the field. Let's see, is there anything I personally am holding back from the elders? How about the oral sex with my wife for the past ten years or so? My wife is about to strangle me if I go there. I assure her the elders are completely confidential and qualified to go over this infraction with us. I am certain none of the elder's wives will find out. Well, my field service never became fruitful but my wife remained content and happy.
• 

  teenyuck

  I learned by watching:

  My dad got DFd, in absentia, for smoking.

  My sister got DFd, in absentia, for fornication.

  My mom got DFd, after confessing, for fornication.

  I smoked some pot as a teen, I committed fornication, I did a few other things that would get me DFd.

  Did I go to the elders? Hell no!!

  I may not be the brightest bulb, but even I could figure out the MO of the staff of our KH.
• 

  Betsy

  I would always confess to my parents and they would end up telling the elders - thanks Mom & Dad! Actually it usually involved my best friend and the brother she wasn't supposed to be dating, but we snuck around to see him anyway.

  Anyway we were having one of the usual coed get togethers posing as a WT study and he brought a cup of Jack Daniels and was drinking it. So, of course he gave us both a sip. I don't know why I ever told my parents - they could (and still can't) keep anything I tell them to themselves.

  I think about it periodically now, and wonder why I felt compelled to tell them. I think it's just so ingrained to rat people out even your friends.

  Oh well, I have a lot of regrets....

  Betsy