I could really use some advice (page 4)

Wow, where do I start? As you see through this thread a year and a half ago I was a mess.

The past couple of months I have been thinking about coming back to this post and seeing if there is any difference in my emotional state. Honestly though, I put it off afraid of drudging up any old pain.

Well, I am happy to report I survived this horrible break-up. Who would have guessed? A year and a half later I am stronger and wiser than I have ever been in my life. I mean that of course is how it should be the older we get, right?

I still get a little sad every now and then when I think of the ex but I know how to control my emotions now. We went back and forth for a good 8 months with emotional games, me playing the games more than him.

I thought he was the only one for me for the longest time.

I met my current boyfriend about two months after my ex and I broke up. A very sweet guy, honest and mature. I posted about him before on a thread I started on Inter-racial couples. I am mexican-american and couldn't get over the fact that he is Chinese.

We dated on and off since my break-up with the ex. I broke up with my new guy three times (he swears 4x), the first time saying I needed more time to get over the ex, the other two times saying we are just too different, it will never work.

I am so fortunate he kept taking me back. It breaks my heart now whenever I think of how I dropped him three times. He is the most loving, sweetest and honest guy I have ever met. I am filled with tears right now righting this.

Well, I tried to break up with him a fourth time back in August. He said to me this is it, if you leave now I will not take you back again so you better really think if it is what you really want.

I though about what he said, I still wanted to leave but I couldn't. I kept thinking how can I break his heart again? How could I be so heartless to someone who is so sweet an caring?

I was thinking I could never leave him, I am stuck with someone I love but am not in love with.

Now, four months or so later I am so in love with him. I cannot believe I have such a sweet and wonderful person who truly loves me. He is smart, funny, honest and he has a heart of gold.

Now it seems the shoe is on the other foot. I am so afraid I am going to lose him. He is still a little unsure of me, as he has every right to be. He worries I am going to break it off again. I fear he will not get over this and decide to break it off himself.

Like I said I still think of my ex and miss him at times but it has finally sunk in that he was not the one. It is a little sad, you just don't forget four years with someone. We had good and bad times together.

But, I now look forward to the future with my current boyfriend. I am even thinking of children in the future. That is how I know I truly love and trust my b/f. I swore I would never have kids. Many people told me you just haven't found the right guy. How right they were.

I could really use some advice

tinkerbell82

sandy

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