Thank You all (page 7)

cat1759

Dearest Plum,

Inside you are going through some great turmoil. The loss of life as we knew it is sometimes hard to come to terms with.

All of us at one point or another tried to come to terms with what we knew and what we felt in our hearts. I tried to many times to go back. When I would walk in the hall I would get upset and start to seethe. No matter what hall I would go to it was the same. I had to try, I had to find out if I could do it again. It is just a learning process. Process of being able to let go.

My timeline Plum was:

1987 son molested, seeing my life as I knew it flash in front of my eyes, still tried to go to the 5meetings and service

1988 moved to a new hall and tried to go back

1989-1995 off and on with the sunday talks only as I had no time for anything else

1996 came online never realizing there were others in situations like me, thought i was alone, started studying doctrine, read Books by Ray Franz and there were some other people who had sent me all kinds of doctrine changing information...but still...everyone has their own interpretations

1998 last time I walked into a hall for my dad's funeral, still those old feelings came up and it was all i could do to make it through

still trying to see where i fit in, always felt that eventually i will go back when time presented itself

2000-my son informed he was gay, huge turning point for me. I knew if i accepted him I could no longer go back and if i rejected him I was not showing unconditional love that Jesus stated in the bible. Ambivalent because again the organization was all I knew even tho i had come so far. I had no friends because I was a workaholic.

2001- started studying other religions such as wicca, golden dawn, the start of the organization

Read things that were so eye opening that I could never go back. Finally came to terms with my life and where I was going.

This is not an easy road and it has many bumps. Deep inside I always thought I would go back because in the world I did not fit, in the organization I did not fit. I fit no where. I still don't but now I realize I don't have to fit. I can be me and I can love who I am without condemnation of my life and how it has turned out.

My best to you on this road you are travelling. We all go through it. How many times did I need to be slapped in the face and turn the other cheek? It was my path and no one could tell me differently, i had to learn on my own. I must like abuse because I was always willing to give it another go.

Best of luck to your decision and know that everyone is here. Please reach out if you start gettting depressed.

Cathy

rockon

Plm. . . I am new, but I support your decision whatever it may be. I personally can never go back, I have had enough. It is hard to find new friends, everyone seems so busy with their own life. And for someone who has never been in this organization, sometimes it is hard to explain. I still have some friends in jw only because they live in different state and don't know I do not attend KH anymore.

plmkrzy

This thread is overwhelming!

Sigh

I took the weekend off and chilled out some.

I feel less frustrated and seeing this thread with all of the responses from so many of you has left me speechless. I don’t know what to say right now. I wish I could say I know where I am going and what I will be doing with the next few years of my life but I can’t.

The next few months for me are going to be touch and go, or up and down, hit & miss …whatever.

I read the entire thread. Each and every post, finally.

I want to say thank you to each and every single one of you. Even Reborn lol! Just trying to get attention. Rolls eyes .

I spent some time today answering pms, I hope I didn’t miss anyone. I don’t think I did, but if I did please forgive me it wasn’t on purpose.

I’ll come back to this later when I have a better grasp on some personal dilemmas and choices I need to make. Right now, there isn’t much else to say except that having the support of a few friends and the added outlook on certain issues that come with it, does make a big difference when dealing with unexpected BIG problems.

I’m not one to easily connect with and share personal issues, and the Internet is even tougher.

I did make a leap or two since last weekend.

To those of you I leaped on, Thank You! The landing was not so hard after all. ;)

I hope this is coherent.

Big hugs to everyone

plum

gambit

Plum,

I've never even corresponded with you, but my eyes lite up to see you back. I am fairly new, but have read quite a few threads... this place is overwhelming with really good, warm, friendly people... You are obviously a part of that collective conscience that so warmly welcomed me, as your name is all over the threads I have been reading...

do you accept hugs from strangers ((((((((plum))))))))... take care of yourself.

gambit

plmkrzy

((((((((((((There's always room for hugs)))))))))))

Just don't bite me

onacruse

More hugs for (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((plum))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Kate and I tried to call you before we left town last Saturday...

we're so glad to see you back

You have our #...please call anytime you like

Craig & Kate

Brummie

Plum this is about the fifth time tonight I have said I am going to bed on this forum and then something shows up and keeps me here a little longer.

I'm real pleased to see you again but I think its real spiteful that you wont let me bite you ...not even a nip? a tiny one? a wee wee little nibble maybe?

Glad to see you (((P)))

Brummie

simplesally

email [email protected]

minimus

This is the first time that I've seen this post. I read thru all the pages and was so happy to see your change of viewpoint, Plum. It truly bothers me that a person like yourself could even think about going back to the Hall. What bothers me most is that you felt that you had no other outlet to interact with people through. Did people on this board get you thinking that maybe it was better after all to go back to the Kingdom Hall? Were you that depressed or hurt or upset by people here that you even considered taking this drastic action? I really hope that no one here EVER makes a person feel so unwanted or unloved that they would consider what might be considered "the lesser of 2 evils", returning to actively associate with the Witnesses. As everyone else has said, you are very special here and we would be sad to see you go. Thanks for cheering us up!!!

shamus

Hi there, Plum

I am glad that you are thinking things through right now. In any event, do what YOU think is right for YOU, and you'll do just fine. Certainly I am not in your shoes right now, and hope that you understand that only one individual, YOU can live your life the way you wish.

There are surely lots of pressure on you right now... maybe family who have shunned you, friends, etc. I am fortunate to not have this problem, and can only imagine the loneliness that you feel right now....

Please take care, and talk to your friends here if you need someone to talk to....

Shamus

Thank You all

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