When I read about your son it reminded me of myself. I started smoking at ten years of age. By the time I was fifteen I was skipping school regularly, drinking, and using drugs. I was getting into trouble with the law regularly for minor things. I eventually started taking harder drugs, dropped out of school after grade 9, got involved in burglaries, assaults, and selling drugs. I would disappear for months at a time, and was on the police missing person list more times than I can remember. This went on for years. Once I was very near committing murder over a drug deal gone bad. I actually had my gun against the head of my intended victim. Luckily, at that moment I decided that this person's life was not worth the price of my freedom, so I let him off. I was once the target in a drive by shooting, but luckily they missed me. The police were often at my parents house looking for me. Phones were tapped, etc.
Obviously, I was a major source of disappointment to my parents. My stint with JW's alienated me from my father even more.
One day, as I realized that my father was getting older, and began to regret the bitterness I caused him. I resolved to make some changes in my life, so that he could be proud of me before he died. I went back to school and took some courses in computers and network administration, and I eventually got some contract work. I now have a good job in the Ontario Legislature as a Systems Administrator. I've received a pardon for my previous criminal record. I'm drug free. I'm out of the cult.
With time, I became reconciled to my father, and even earned his friendship and respect. The last few years we had a wonderful relationship. He knew I would be leaving the BORG. When he was 81, and with failing health, I moved into the basement apartment in his home, to give him the physical assistance he needed. Sad to say, with all the excitement of my moving in, he suffered a massive heart attack that same day, and died. My only consolation is the fact that it was a happy day for him, and that he was finally proud of his son. It's been 2 1/2 years since he passed away, but sometimes I still come home from work and check the answering machine, or dial phone his number, only to realize he's not there anymore.
Please don't lose all hope that your son may change. It may seem very unlikely, but it's never impossible. I sincerely hope that your son re-evaluates his life, and makes changes.
Setting out to make my father proud of me turned out to be the best gift I could have ever given to myself. I really hope your son will some day come to this realizaion.
Walter