I truly admire your courage. My thoughts and affection are with you.
Rosemarie
The Convention/My life.
by ScoobySnax 38 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
scotsman
Hi Scoob
I resigned as an elder and came out at 30. It was fairly traumatic but I had never hated myself for my sexuality, nor really had any faith in the Bible. My choice was between pleasing my family and having my own life and eventually I realised that as they all had their lives I warranted one too. It took me a year to be clear in my head what that life was to be. My life conforms to no strict gay/straight community or stereotype, it's mine.
But being gay and having a belief in the Truth is difficult. I have a number of friends who are gay witnesses and the most successful ones are those that completely sublimate their desires and throw themselves into the organisation as pioneers, circuit overseers or whatever. Those that linger on the fringe live what I can only describe as dessicated lives. One actually describes himself as living in a state of suspended animation. I've read blogs by gay witnesses that sound the same.
Your crossroads may be daunting, but it may also be exhilirating, whichever route you choose.
Good luck.
-
m0nk3y
Yet again I haven't bothered to read the rest of the replys to your thread scoobs .. but heres a bit of advice for ya .. grab a same sex partner and go like there aint no tomorrow .. and keep going and keep going .. there isn't such a thing as tomorrow until it's today .. so just enjoy today. Im not sure if your a boi or a grrl but either way .. when your in the throws of passion or just chilling watching tv in their arms .. the rest will fall away and you will wonder why it was such a big deal in the first place.
*hugz*
monk3y
-
StinkyPantz
((Scooby))
Take monk3y's advice.
-
freein89
Scooby dooby doo,
I am sorry you feel alone. It is hard to leave and even harder to stay. You feel stuck Huh? I know how scary it can be to contemplate life without the comfort of the community you are used to. If you decide to leave, you really can develope a feeling of community on the outside and you really do feel a part of things, honest you do, but it just takes a little time and gobs of courage.
Deb
-
SixofNine
Scooby, I think you misunderstand me. Perhaps you don't like my direct way of speaking. But to me, the crux of your problems seems obvious, pardon if that sounds arrogant. Take the following exchange for instance:
"Intellectualize your problems" yep like I never thought in 18 odd years of that. Life must be great for you. You can never "feel" enough. You truly learn this way.
Here you seem to have made light of my suggestion to intellectualize your problems. I tell you plainly, you obviously do not intellectualize your problems, your beliefs, etc. That much is obvious about you from the day you first came on this forum. It is a dead end way of living. How can you ever have any peace if you carry around opposing beliefs about god, yourself, your fellow man? Your feelings will still be operable, I assure you. In fact, believe it or not, I care about you as much as any huggy person on this db.
Later, you say this:
Well I guess its my way of trying to explain it. I'm probably getting out of my depth here, and I realise where I am.
I think you were doing fine. The point is to not give up, saying "I'm probably getting out of my depth here". Not at all. First of all, you are talking about you, so only you, if you're honest with yourself, can examine your motivations etc. better than anyone. Second, even where homosexuality and religion are concerned, it's still up to you to come up with a belief you can live with intelligently, happily, and freely. -
-
mattnoel
Scoob,
Sorry have not spoken in a while ! be good to catch up, sounds like you are having a bit of a rough time, you dont know me that well but the offer is still there for someone to chat to if you need it !
Your doing really well and being extremely brave, keep it up, I know what its like and how hard and frustrating the whole situation is.
If you want my e mail again let me know !
Matt
-
ApagaLaLuz
HiYa Matt hunny! Havent talke dto you in a bit. Luv Ya
PM ME
I've sent you messages in RINGO
-
Ravyn
hey Scooby! for me freedom was painful. it was like being expelled out into a void at first, until I started to fill the void with things I wanted to fill it with--then I knew I was free. It was like a toothache while it was empty tho.
Maybe there is more to you than your sexuality. Maybe there is more to you than your religion. Maybe sexuality and religion make up some of who you are, but not all of it? I feel similarly but over different issues. I think it is just this world we live in that requires us to have labels and boxes and wants everything neat and tidy and hidden away...
I figure if I am going to be forced into a closet---atleast I can hang my own stuff from the rod! Put my own shoes on the floor and my own hats on the shelf! Time to redecorate Scooby!
Ravyn