When I was growing up as a good witness, I always envisioned myself (because I always tried to be realistic) marrying a bro who had his own business washing windows, cleaning floors or some such. Of course we would be poor, because I would pioneer forever. I always hoped we would have enough money to have a child or two. Most of the brothers I knew barely made a living. Luckily, the only requirement I had written in stone was that the Brother I dated be smarter than I. Only one boyfriend wasn't, and we only lasted a month. A few years later he married a submissive little thing and popped out two kids. He was the only one who earned a decent living, and she spent every penny he made. Last I heard he was working three jobs to support her. I hope eventually they are well and truly out of the BORG so he can finally take a career advancement and support her in the manner she would like to be accustomed. Ah, screw it, I don't really care about them--HA!
The other brothers I dated were all lower-paid than the "dumb" one. All totally brilliant, but held down by lack of education. Several are out now too. I sometimes wonder if I might run into them on this board--wouldn't that be a hoot. My husband is smarter than all of them. He never bought into the idea of not earning a decent living/having a career. He is somewhat hobbled by his lack of higher education, which he resents--submission is not exclusive to women. When we married as still-active Dubs, we determined not to be co-owners of our cars, not to combine insurance as there was no financial advantage. We both maintain separate bank accounts, have no joint credit cards. I have full input in all decisions, as does he.
It's a good arrangement, but good JWs, who had some idea of how things were, were pretty horrified--especially about the separate bank accounts--as if it's any of their business. When we were engaged my parents tried their damnedest to break us up. Even calling the week before the wedding to tell me if I broke up with him, they would fully "support" me in getting re-established, and not to worry about the money. Their reason? They didn't think I could "respect his headship." They would never have understood if I had told them he didn't intend to impose his headship, we were mates, partners, equals.
When I look back, I can see how unhappy I would have been doing it the organization's way. I can see how much all these intelligent women who are saddled with numb-nuts for husbands who impose headship--how unhappy they are, and how much they resent having to kowtow to every whim of the "head of the household." --"can I buy these shoes, can I move the couch, can we take a vacation, can I have some money, can the kids sleep over at a friends..."
I also see what a bunch of hypocrites some of the servants are, they preach headship and womanly submission from the platform. But the wife rules the household with an iron fist. Talk about cognitive dissonance, no wonder so many JW marriages are secretly (or not so secretly) unhappy.
Don't even get me started on the stupidity of only brothers having privileges in the congregation either. That's a whole different rant. The whole system of adminstration is insulting and a joke. It was really brought home to me when I read C.T. Russell's will and realized that he meant sisters to have a pivotal influence on the writing and administration of the Watchtower. Rutherford, Knorr and the rest of them must have been some kind of women haters. Bastards.
Odrade.
