What should I do

by Ariell 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sandy

  I think the slow fade is the best thing if you want to keep contact with family members. Since you already told your mother you do not believe anymore she may feel obligated to talk to the elders.

  As somebody already mentioned only you can make this decision. Can you handle shunning by your Mother or other family members?

  Do you think they will shun you? Personally I know my mother and father would never shun me. My siblings probably would so I choose to remain faded.

  Good Luck with whatever you decide.

  Sandy
• 

  Gozz

  Ariell:

  a suggestion: if you have to meet with the elders, you could tell them you seem spiritually weak at this time, but that you're researching the publications and praying to Jehovah for help. This is most probably true in your case. You can buy out time to do what you have to do. But please, don't rush; take it very slow and easy; don't antagonise the organozation or witnesses, don't argue about the doctrines; for the sake of those you love who're still in.

  Wish you the best.
• 

  Winston Smith :>D

  Ariell,

  I’d say to avoid the DA or DF if possible. I was in a similar situation a while ago and thought that DF/DA was the better option just to bring closure to things and move on.

  I went to a couple of 2 man elder meetings w/my Q’s and then at the end, thanked the elders for their time and research and said it helped me out. I then said I’d get back to them if I had more Q’s, and that was that. I didn’t say anything definitive against WTS teachings. I always phrased it as ‘I had doubts’, and nothing more.

  This enabled me to see where they stood, and it proved to myself that no matter what I said, they’d still tow the company line. My family now accepts that I go to meetings infrequently and no FS. The elders ask Q’s once in a while, but no big deal.

  In our KH we have had a couple of girls in your position stop coming to meetings and then moved out, and on, with their lives. The congregation eventually stops asking about them, and I’m sure the elders do also.

  Winston.
• 

  Ariell

  After careful consideration of all your replies I'm leaning more towards walking away, but still uncertain about what I'll actually end up doing. My Dad has been inactive for quite some time now-attends meetings every blue moon. He's already told two elders that he doesn't believe God appoints them as the society teaches. They even tried labeling him an apostate, but it blew over. I know for a fact he wouldn't shun me and I'm pretty sure my Mom wouldn't either (it will definitely cause some degree of tension at first, but that's something I can live with). As a matter of fact, no one in our congregation has shunned their DF'd or DA'd relative. They socialize as if nothing has changed. I guess local tradition does indeed play a part in obeying Watchtower rules.
• 

  Ariell

  There is an elder in our congregation whose very persistent, haughty, and controlling. You know the type. He has a grudge against my family. If I were to attempt a slow fade, he'd be on me like butter on rice, trying to find ways to disfellowship me, and we all know a determined elder doesn't need justifiable means to disfellowship. That's why I'd rather be done with it and move on. Life is too short to deal with their crap.