People are People (page 2)

minimus

I don't feel my comments show that I'm giving up on people. I do understand what makes us tick. If we're the type that always complains about work, people, or the weather, we're just that type of personality. If we are always the first to give a dig or a shot to a person, then, we'll probably do that til we die. If we're sweet persons, our nature is the same. .......I do think that intensive therapy might correct some flaws but without this sort of thing, we are who we are and we probably won't change our thinking all that much.

nowisee

well where does all this leave me???

i probably reacted because:

during the first years of my life i was definitely the follower, the submissive one, accommodating, yes, yes yes

then rebellious

then submissive, towing the line,

then the feminist: no-one tells ME what to do....

i have been promiscuous and puritanical, deceptive and completely honest, impatient/patient, anything goes/judgemental, feminine/masculine, caring/uncaring.........etc. etc. etc.

jw/agnostic/atheist/agnostic/Christian

or would you say that the continuity with me is constant change?

Inquiry

Hi Minimus... I have to say that I agree for the most part with what you are saying... their seems to be an inherent side to who people are... I've done a bit of research on the matter... I'm thinking of Dr. John Bradshaw... he's written several books... talks about positions in the family... first, second, third and fourth children and their roles... I'm actually a first child for my father, but a second child for my mother... so I found it very interesting... I think that it's possible that the nature of a person can be inherent... unchangeable... but I think we can make choices on the best to worsts parts of that nature... I think if the nature is fixed, that's where we have flexibility... Maybe the older we get, having a variety of experiences with people of all sorts of natures... we start to recognise a pattern... especially if we've known a person since they were children... It's interesting to apply this thought personally too... examine our own natures and see our choices... good and bad... I think it can reveal a lot about ourselves and maybe help us to relate to other natures as well... Appreciated the post, Inq

Lady Lee

tried a lot eh nowisee?

well from your list I would say adventurous and independant

being a follower and then rebelling against that would not mean that your nature is to be a follower - sounds that you hate being forced into that role - hence the rebellion

trying new things and then changing your mind tells me you are willing to take risks to find what works for you. I suspect you will never be happy with the status quo and will continue to seek out whatever will make you happy.

Sounds like a great combination so seek your dream - whatever it will be - when you find it you will stop searching

jgnat

nowisee, from what I can see, you have never been a middle-of-the-roader. No lukewarm there! I know what Lady Lee and Minimus are talking about. Even with all my years with church members who firmly believed that God had radically "saved" them, I noticed that many basic personality traits remain. The users continued to use, followed devotedly by a flock of healers.

I wondered how they got away with it, considering that I felt I was constantly being challenged by God to modify my way of living to be a wiser, kinder, more outward focussed person. (This introvert had a lot of growing to do).

I think my mom made the most radical departure from her former behavior. She was the one who restored my faith that people can rise above themselves.

nowisee

minimus, lady lee, and jgnat,

thanks for answering and addressing me and my confusion.

lady lee and jgnat, i will give thought to your words as i have always enjoyed your posts.

lady lee, you are probably right as these days mostly i feel happy and boring. i do admire the work you do and think you have special insight.

jgnat --special love to you as i believe you are my sister.

hugs to all. nowisee

Lady Lee

I suspect that being highly controlled (by family, religion etc) inhibits our true nature from being expressed. Any kind of control/abuse supresses who we really are for the desired behavior by the controller. So judging your nature under those circumstances isn't an accurate picture of YOU. Compliance has nothing to do with nature. We comply for a wide variety of reasons. But how we comply might be a better indicator of our nature. Internal rebellion even while outwardly complying would probably be a better indicator of the true self. I don't even know that we could find the true self when we are being controlled. Fear has a way of stopping the real self from exerting itself..

Personally boring is a better way for me to be than in the middle of someone else's insanity. I don't need the drama in my life to feel alive. Calm and peaceful is much happier

jgnat

Wow! That is the second time in 24 hours I have been called a board sister. Perhaps us girlie girls should invade chat one day, braid each other's hair and paint our nails funky colours.

Brummie

Perhaps us girlie girls should invade chat one day, braid each other's hair .

Do you do cut skinheads and roll spliffs too? Cus I'd feel highly honored to be in the midst of you 3.

Brummie

Pork Chop

Yes minimus, it's a rare person that breaks the mold.

People are People

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