OOOOO Brummie, you bad kitty. I had to do a google search to figger out what you said....
http://falcon.jmu.edu/~klemmjd/rastafari/ganja.htm
http://www.spankmag.com/forums/disp_post.cfm/cc.38318/clt.30/page.html
People are People
by minimus 41 Replies latest jw friends
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minimus
We also tend to be very much like our parents. We have good and bad genes passed on to us that make us who we are. Regarding the women who were in the congregation, they had to "listen" to the males and show "subjection". Once many of them stopped being JW's they grew to be more independant. Was it because they were "changing" their basic personalities? I doubt it. I think they were simply allowing themselves to be who they really were.
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nowisee
yes, jgnat. we will give each other massages, chew the fat, and share share share until we fall asleep. i would probably vote to allow brummie and minimis in, at least for a little while.
love, nowisee
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minimus
Did someone say,"Massages"? Well nowisee, I don't quite know what you're talking about but I'm in on this.
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SadElder
Isn't it unfortunate that people generally have lost that caring, affection , and nuturing that each of us need. Among the Dubs it is quite evident too, despite claiming to have the identifying mark of love. I say yes "the love of the greater number has colled off" dubs too. I've become this cynical person who once was ready to give always of myself, but have now seen that when you need somethng from one of those that always takes, you are left standing by yourself.
I believe that old adage: Givers always give and never take, Takers always take and never give.
Sad isn't it!
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Maverick
I must agree with you on this minimus, I do believe we come with a certain, "attitude or disposition". When we are "true" to our nature, we tend to be at peace with ourselves. When we try to suppress or deny that nature we get angry or depressed. Many J-duds fall into this second category. I know I did as a dud! For many people it may take most of their lives to figure out who THEY are. I feel this is a major reason many marriages fall apart. Part of the problem starts with the parenting. Parents get a mental picture of the kind of person they want in a child, many times even before the child is born. They talk to that image and never really get to know the actual child! I realised this when my daughter turned 5. I wasn't talking to her, just this imaginary person I had in my mind of how I wanted her to be. When I saw this I stopped and started to learn who she was. And I learned to take her unconditionally. I fear many people never do this. And this screws up the relationship between parent and child for life. Maverick
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Lady Lee
Mav That reminds me of something else
A few years ago someone told me that their mother had decided which part of the chicken each person liked. She didn't want them fighting over the same parts so she just told them "You get the leg because I know how much you like it. And you get the breast because I know how much you love that.).
As an adult she realized she had never even tried some other part of the chicken. Her mother made this decision when they were young and they all followed it for almost 30 years before she decided to try something else.
This is a pretty simple example. Her mother didn't care what they liked. She just wanted to stop them from fighting so made a decision. The same would go for any other behavior that is externally imposed. It ignores and covers up the true nature of a person
And once the cover-up is discovered a person often has to go through a lot of experimenting to find out who they really are
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cat1759
Minimus and everyone,
I think that we are born with tendencies precipitated by religion and our parents. I think there comes a point in life where we either change or get left behind. We hang on to the allusive dream because it is all we know. We hang on to some form of idealization because we refuse to see reality around us. Sometimes we actually do change because we have to, not because we want to. It is when we start to open up and look around out of ourselves and our own little worlds we realize that if we do certain things we can change our own reality and live our dreams that before were squandered on faith or preconceptions of what our parents wanted.
If we refuse to come to terms with the life we had and what is real today we then find ourselves in a rut of drugs, alcohol, and of course i smoke cigarettes to offset my own reality. I have changed but I have changed back to the little girl I used to be instead of the hard ass I was. I have come back to my dreams in life with the experiences of hard work and knowledge to change my dreams into something more tangible.
Dr. Bradshaw's book was excellent. I have only read two of them. I feel we all do change even if we don't show it on the outside. Nothing ever stays stagnant for long.
Cathy
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Robdar
Minimus, I must agree that people are who they are. It is rare for them to change. Here is a Sufi story that addresses your thread:
A group of bandits once infested the mountains, waiting for passing caravans to rob. A king who lived in a nearby city gathered the best of his soldiers and sent them to the mountains to find the robbers. The soldiers found their hiding places, and waited for the bandits to fall asleep. With nightfall, the robbers fell asleep one by one. In the middle of the night the soldiers attacked, captured them, and brought them back to court. The king ordered all to be executed. There was a very young man among these thieves, and the king's minister, taking pity on this youth, asked the king to spare him. Perhaps such a young man could be exposed to a good environment, brought up in a good family, and given teachers to help him to grow to be a better man. The king warned his minister that the boy was a thief, that such was his identity, despite his youth. But the minister begged to be allowed to try. So the king set the boy free and gave the minister the responsibility of educating the boy. Time passed, and in a few years, the boy began associating with unfit friends, stealing, and eventually killing none other than the son of the minister, running away from the city and joining another group of bandits.
The Sufi storyteller ends with this warning:
Rain is delicate and pure. It pours gracefully upon both field and desert, The field grows flowers, and the desert-thorns.
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minimus
EXCELLENT COMMENTS HERE!!!!.............If a person is homosexual, they cannot just learn to be heterosexual. Even if that person gets married to a person of the opposite sex, has children, etc., the person is still gay. They might change their outward actions but they can't really change their inward complexion. And regarding criminals, a criminal may not want to go back to jail so he stops breaking the law (and getting caught). But he still has a criminal mind, doesn't he?