New Illinois Sex Law - Its a Killer (page 2)

donkey

Just tell him you have AIDS or Herpes...he will stop fast.

Jack

expatbrit

Negotiating what the stop means can be done after the stop

That was very Clintonesque of you, Lady Lee.

Isn't it simple? If one partner says "stop", you stop. I can't believe a law is needed for this stuff!

Expatbrit

Lady Lee

cat

Waiting until both of you have your pants around your ankles and all of a sudden you decide or he decides no, seems wrong.

everyone has the right to change their minds regardless of how far along they are. Ideally this is true but sometimes people get caught up with the feelings before the brain says "What the h*ll am I doing?"

For those who have been previously raped or sexually abused even saying stop or no can be a tremendously difficult thing to do

expat

That was very Clintonesque of you, Lady Lee

not that way silly

funkyderek

everyone has the right to change their minds regardless of how far along they are. Ideally this is true but sometimes people get caught up with the feelings before the brain says "What the h*ll am I doing?"

So if it takes a woman several hours of dating/foreplay and at least a few minutes of actual sexual penetration before her brain says "what the h*ll am i doing?" is it fair to punish a man if it takes his brain a few seconds longer?

cat1759

After intense learning on the subject it is better to say No right off than wait. NO means no. No means no you cant kiss me, no means no holding my hand, no means you are not getting any part of me. I am not going to wait until you are on top of me to say NO. As I learned the hard way. On the other hand if I have given my ok to start I do intend to finish or at least let him finish. There has to be some responsiblity somewhere. After penetration you have already made the decision it is ok, it is almost done. Rape on the other hand is a different ballgame all together. I don't put myself in situations where the possibilty exists. I always have backup. So I don't have to worry about saying NO as it is hard to do.

Donkey forgot that one.

Funkyderek love your reasoning. Just a few more seconds dear, almost done.

Cathy

Mecurious?

The Governor of Illinois just signed into law new legislation that says that ANYTIME during sexual intercourse, if a woman (or man) says stop, then the other person MUST immediately stop ... or ... they can be charged with RAPE ...

How many men are going to tell a woman to stop while having sex?

So if it takes a woman several hours of dating/foreplay and at least a few minutes of actual sexual penetration before her brain says "what the h*ll am I doing?" is it fair to punish a man if it takes his brain a few seconds longer?

Nope. But you better believe that many men and almost no women will end up being charged for rape.

If I'm giving somebody a lift in my car and they suddenly start screaming for me to let them out, how soon do I have to stop the car before I'm charged with kidnapping?

If I'm a guest in somebody's house and they suddenly start screaming for me to leave, how soon do I have to leave the house before I'm charged with trespassing?

Yea, pretty soon they will have laws for just about everything. I guess we might as well have a law for how long someone should have sex or how long a man should look at a woman before its considered sexual assault. What nonsense. Men Beware...

No should be said up front. Screaming at the jerk should be done up front. Waiting until both of you have your pants around your ankles and all of a sudden you decide or he decides no, seems wrong.

No, waiting until a man is climaxing and then crying rape seems wrong. Men really should stop if a woman asks them too. Otherwise, men need to be more particular about who they have sex with. Is she seems like she has any doubts or if she’s seem hesitant, nutty or overly cautious men need to step back and leave it alone.

I wonder how long it will be before this law is in every state. Also it’s very likely this law will be abused by irate girlfriends, women seeking to take advantage of rich athletes etc.

Merc'

simwitness

IMHO, if the party of the second part decides they want to stop, the party of the first part will probably already be aware that there is an issue... I doubt the decision would be in the "thoes of passion".... it will have already been fairly obvious that the party of the second part is "not happy", and if the party of the first part is at all concerned with the 2nd parties feelings, they will stop.

However, that being said, I forsee alot of he-said/she-said arguments, and a burden of proof problem.

I thought you said "Don't Stop".
But I said "Stop"!
yeah, but it was preceded by "Don't"...

Give me a break people, Yes, anyone can decide to change their mind at anytime, but we do not need more unenforcable rules for people that just want to "get even" with others to take advantage of.

maxwell

Laws like this shouldn't have to be written. But now its here. I wouldn't be surprised if we see a grammatical argument as suggested by simwitness.

"Don't!" ........pant pant pant "Stop!" pant pant

Was that two requests to stop or one request to continue?

avishai

How many men are going to tell a woman to stop while having sex?

I have.

I cant remember who said it, maybe Robert Heinlein, but the quote is " You can change your mind before, & sometimes during, but never after sex"

Which, is what I have seen happen with all of these "antioch rule" type scenarios.

Lady Lee

men can and do get raped - hence the need for non-sexist language

New Illinois Sex Law - Its a Killer

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