How Many People are Living a Lie?

by awokenjw 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • awokenjw
    awokenjw

    One of the things I often wonder about at the meetings is How many of these people are actually living a lie or sinning in secret? And more importantly, how do these ones stomach it? In my case, I have secretly dated and done things disapproved by the WT with a pioneer sister in my congregation for years and we both go to the same meeting twice a week and pretend everything is perfect and nothing has happened. I have personally seen and heard things from brothers that lead me to believe that they are doing similar things.

    The cognitive dissonance that go through these people's minds must be tremendous. I personally sometimes cannot even stand being at the meetings because it genuinely bothers me that I am lying to so many people who think I am almost sinless. Not to mention the fear that one day this sister could go cult mode and confess to our elders. The thought that everything you know - family and friends - can disappear at any moment is scary and I cannot understand how these people living lies like mine do it.

    Do you guys have any experiences as to JWs living double lives but still being able to function perfectly within the congregation?

  • sir82
    sir82

    How many of these people are actually living a lie or sinning in secret?

    100%

  • Londo111
    Londo111

    Before I woke up, if I "sinned", I reported myself to the elders, even private bedroom matters between me and my then wife. I was taught if I did otherwise, I would be destroyed at the Big A and God would remove his blessing from the congregation. I also didn't want to be a hypocrite.

    Of course, now that I woke up, I realize what a big mistake all that was! Never again!

    I don't know how a person can be an indoctrinated JW, especially a pioneer, and violate Watchtower rules. The guilt must eat such a person alive.

  • awokenjw
    awokenjw

    I can only imagine how much their conscience eats them up. The stress alone is torturous and that is why I can only assume that she will eventually break down like you did London111. But maybe there are people who are able to live with those things and it not bother them.

    That thought is scary.

  • ShirleyW
    ShirleyW

    awokenjw - you're not alone in your actions with another member of the congregation, but the tricky thing is she just might wake up one day and feel guilty and report it, but if she did would you really care at that point.

    Just for an example, but involving married couples I've heard a few stories of how couples engaged in oral sex, with the wife requesting it, the husband obliges, then the wife felt guilty and went to the elders and the husband was the one that gets their ass handed to them because he should've known better, crazy how the Borg gets a hold of the minds of its followers.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    I think a lot of JW enforcement of rules chimes with the protestant or even puritan streak found in English people who become Witnesses. I did observe that those from other more easy going cultures or even from the Catholic tradition would play it more like a game or not take it all so seriously...to the consternation of those who did.

    Some just carried on as if there were no penalties and no Big J or Armageddon...and quite right too!

    So in answer to your question, I imagine that most of JWs have doubts and a third will be prepared to bend or break the rules and (just guessing) about one eighth will be non believers just sitting there enduring the ritual.

    It would be almost impossible for JWs to admit this because it is against the rules to say they don't believe it.

    Like an idiot I took it seriously! but awokenjw you perhaps ought to share your scepticism with your friend...it could lighten the burden for both of you.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    @awoken

    why do you still associate ?

  • awokenjw
    awokenjw

    Well I basically find myself in a situation I am sure is not uncommon - whole family is in and I do not want to lose them. That is why I stay. But I was also involved with this pioneer sister before I was appointed as a servant. We are not together anymore but I do still wonder what goes through her mind.

    On the one hand, if I stay, I am always going to wonder if she will confess leading me losing everything I know or she wont. On the other hand, if I leave I still lose everything I know.

  • blondie
    blondie

    How many living a lie....isn't that the trait of a cult member?

  • redvip2000
    redvip2000

    ....I've heard a few stories of how couples engaged in oral sex, with the wife requesting it...


    Clearly this must be a lie.

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