By no means is this a heartwarming "experience" illustrating how an ex-JW skillfully "reached the heart" of a current JW, moving them to re-examine their belief system. That won't be my take on my half hour visit with an elder's wife last Sunday. No one scored points here as is almost always the case in these interactions.
We live at the extreme southern tip of Texas, on the U.S.-Mexico border in a city of about 200,000. Twenty years ago there were 20 Spanish language congregations, 2 English. I have no idea if the numbers hold today, but the Witnesses are very active here and seeing groups out in field service or a tandem making a return visit is not at all uncommon.
This past Sunday I was trimming the oleander bushes at my son's house, when I was approached by a nicely dressed woman likely in her mid-forties, working alone, inviting me to the memorial. I refused the invitation, quickly explaining that I had a long history as a JW and was totally familiar with her belief system.
Absolutely undaunted, the confident young lady asked if a particular incident had "disappointed" or "stumbled" me or if I had an issue with a particular belief. I laughed, not sarcastically, but knowingly, as an older man gently dealing with a potential daughter figure.
"No, no. no!" I said. "It's much broader than that. I learned absolutely that Jehovah's Witnesses are simply another man-made religion, not unlike the Seventh Day Adventists. In fact, many of their beliefs originated with the Adventists. They are a high control, suffocating religion not dissimilar to the Amish, the Mennonites, etc., fearful of their adherents gaining incite from outside sources that will undermine their belief."
"But, I know it's futile to even have this conversation. You can't disprove by evidence someone's beliefs. We tried that years ago as JWs, trying to read scriptures disproving the trinity or a burning hell. It didn't work then and it wouldn't work with you. Nor would I necessarily want it to work. I spent 50 years of my life interfering, trying to effect people's belief systems. I'm done with that."
She was the one that wanted to press on with the discussion, not me. So, I gave her what she wanted, touching on the huge scandals involving protecting child molesters and the organization to the incredible harm to innocent molestation victims. She claimed to remember the young woman in Canada, molested by a JW, who was forced to pay $100,000 in legal costs, to know about Conti in California and the ARC in Australia.
"We must remember that Jehovah sees all of this, hates it and will deal with it," she tried to say.
"Oh, really? I countered. There is no evidence that Jehovah or any other God has done anything to protect these little ones or right the injustice."
I looked her in the eyes and said: "Obviously, NONE of this touches you just as I knew it wouldn't."
Despite my better judgement, I kept going. I illustrated the warped justice of stoning juvenile delinquents in Israel, while not punishing King David for adultery AND murder. "Jehovah killed the ONLY innocent in that whole situation, the young child of David and Bath-Sheba."
I covered Malawi-Mexico, thoroughly. She must KNOW that the JW men just across the Rio Grande from our conversation are allowed to bribe government officials for a tarjeta declaring they have fulfilled their military service obligations while JWs in Malawi were told to take a stand of NOT buying a one dollar party card that would have saved them from loss of their homes, fields, the raping of their wives and daughters as well as many their lives in many cases.
None of this remotely fazed her.
When I mentioned that my wife and I felt we had both totally wasted our 50 plus years with Jehovah's Witnesses, as well as jeopardizing our son's success in life, we talked briefly about the JWs stance on education. She had to tell me that she received a masters degree before becoming a JW. Her dad was a lawyer. "I come from a well-educated family," she claimed.
I just shook my head. It sort of felt like shaking the dust off my feet.
"Well, we would love to see you for the Memorial if you're able," she blurted out as she departed.
"I will never set foot in a Kingdom Hall for any reason," I responded.
Neither us came remotely close to losing our composure in this fruitless conversation. As she turned her back I resumed trimming bushes.
