ToMo has a New Soulmate - Toronto woman wakes up to raccoon sex

by berrygerry 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • berrygerry
    berrygerry

    “I found it gross and disgusting."

    http://www.torontosun.com/2016/04/09/toronto-woman-wakes-up-to-raccoon-sex

    - If you see this balcony rockin’, don’t come knockin’.

    It was too early Thursday morning for Ava Kwinter to unsee what she describes as a “traumatic” start to her day.

    As she passed by her door leading to the second-floor balcony just before 7 a.m., she saw two shadowy figures locked in an embrace.

    “The sun was already coming up but it was still dark,” she said. “I saw some movement in the corner of my eye. And they were right there. I was just stunned.”

    Yup, she caught two raccoons having sex.

    QMI_raccoon1

    There are a million raccoon stories in this city and this one explains why we have so many of the critters.

    Kwinter, who lives in a house in the Bathurst St. and Lawrence Ave. area, said she was on her way to wake up her daughter when she found the frisky animals.

    Seems they couldn’t even wait for their afternoon delight.

    The amorous raccoons may, in fact, have been exhibitionists, as they didn’t scare easily even though Kwinter banged on the glass door and flipped on the light switch, shining a spotlight on the couple, mid-coitus.

    And the male apparently had some stamina, lasting over 25 minutes.

    “My daughter said, ‘Oh, they’re so sweet. They’re hugging’ and I was like, ‘This is disgusting,’” she said. “They started growling and baring their teeth and they started tussling with each other. We went down for breakfast and I went back up to check on them and they were still there.”

    Kwinter described the lovemaking as “quiet” except when they were interrupted.

    “Then they started making this squeaking, a really unnerving high-pitched sound,” she said. “Otherwise, they were looking around. Their faces were totally casual. I didn’t see how they dispersed.”

    Soon after, Kwinter phoned a pest control company and was told by the call-taker he had never seen anything like that during his 20 years in raccoon removal business. She is concerned the female raccoon may return to the balcony to give birth to babies, so she is trying to ensure the space is raccoon-proof.

    “I’m an animal lover but I can’t stand this,” she said. “I found it gross and disgusting.

    “There is still tufts of hair and gunk all over the balcony ... it’s so gross.”

  • Barrold Bonds
    Barrold Bonds
    i came
  • Heaven
    Heaven

    It's spring what does she expect?

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury
    Her hubby (on the slim chance he is still around) must be thrilled with her puritanical views on sex.
  • Scully
    Scully

    It was so "gross and disgusting" that she took pictures of them en flagrante and watched them go at it with her daughter, went to have breakfast, and then went and watched some more. Voyeur is more like it.

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    "There are a million raccoon stories in this city and this one explains why we have so many of the critters...."

    For crissakes, where the f**k did you think they came from?

    Cabbage patches???

    "...And the male apparently had some stamina, lasting over 25 minutes..."

    Good for him.

    Better than most human males (or so I've heard).

    "...Kwinter described the lovemaking as 'quiet' except when they were interrupted..."

    Well, duh... they were interrupted!

    If someone walked in on me and my wife, I'd tell 'em to f**k off, too.

    "...She is concerned the female raccoon may return to the balcony to give birth to babies..."

    Do raccoons typically bring their young into the world in the spot they originally made them?

    Are they really that sentimental?

    "...she is trying to ensure the space is raccoon-proof..."

    Lady, no space is "raccoon-proof".

    'Specially raccoons determined enough to do the nasty on your back porch.

  • Heaven
    Heaven
    If she wants to ensure her space is raccoon proof, she should move to the Arctic.
  • JRK
    JRK

    How gross! They are doing it doggie-style!

    JK

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter
    WOW, they still have snow in Toronto!
  • sir82
    sir82
    Well, sure, the lady raccoon was wearing Spanx, what did Ms. Kwinter think would happen?

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