Winston, thanks for the update. You did an amazing job considering you had no time to prepare. My heart was aching at the situation your wife feels in, and at your situation at having someone you love so much in true difficulty. One step at a time. It sounds like you're going in the right direction. We've been wondering about you both.
My wifes and I meeting with two elders. Their true colors shine through
by Winston Smith :>D 97 Replies latest jw experiences
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Waygooder64
Winston, kudos to the way you handled those two dopey buggers. You did a fine job of showing support for your bride and at the same time showing them that YOU ARE the head of the house (so to speak) and that your wife comes first.( And please, all those out there who are offended by the "head of the house" quote, sometimes someone has to take the bull by the short and curlies and get things done) . These 2 loons see that a person is contemplating suicide and ALL they can think of is how they can get her out in service more ?!! TYPICAL, TYPICAL ,TYPICAL. You showed a whole pile of restraint that will be of some benefit later on . Winston , your post was very personal and well written , I could just imagine their faces with that stupid clubbed seal look just waiting to jump in and offer some spirtual food that you may not of read before. The problem is that they really think that a Watchtower , prayer and more service solves every problem a JW has. And that is why it is so easy for them to dole out advice, its the standard mantra that gives them the warm and fuzzies and the belief that they are doing the right thing. Again you did a fine job and with the right help, your wife will be on the road to recovery. All the best ......Waygooder64
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Yerusalyim
While this shouldn't be your prime focus now, I see this as an opportunity for your wife to see that the "troof" is all a farce.
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happyout
Winston,
Let me just add my admiration for the way you show such love for your wife, and the grace with which you handled the "elders". I hope to someday cultivate such a wonderfully mild, yet strong spirit.
'Cause personally, I would have been swinging on somebody!
Happyout
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Winston Smith :>D
'Cause personally, I would have been swinging on somebody! Happyout
Oh, believe me when I say that I understand. At one point during the two hour meeting when they were grilling my wife to do more, I actually had a scene pop in my mind of me reaching over the table and grabbing their cold, black hearts out of their hollow chests and squeezing them till they burst in front of their faces. I was so mad!
But I prayed a lot, so hopefully that helped me to keep my composure! Winston.
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Winston Smith :>D
While this shouldn't be your prime focus now, I see this as an opportunity for your wife to see that the "troof" is all a farce.
Yerusalyim
You’re right. I’m hoping that this will awaken her too. I’m not going to push it, but hopefully things will occur that at least will allow her to Q the WTS’ authority. That’s all I need to start her on to a better, and happier life. Winston.
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pettygrudger
(((Winston & Mrs. Winston)))
All the cyber hugs in the world won't help I know, but I feel for you. You are absolutely right in your course of action - the survival of your wife is the most pertinent situation right now.
You're right - they're going to be gunning for you now. Not only have you raised valid questions regarding what the WBTS knows are "apostate" whispers, but you have also called these 2 individuals "elderness" into question - their pride will no doubt have a hand in what happens next.
Hopefully you can tell them firmly to LEAVE YOU ALONE, until after your wife's mental health has been restored. Will give her some time to get her thoughts & feelings into place as well.
I wish you both nothing but the best, and hopefully a quick resolution to this situation, so that you can continue to live your lives together, in peace and love.
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Sabine
Winston,
Your story really touched me...my daughter did comit suicide after the elders threatened to df her. I am not in the least surprized at how incompetent and horribly unloving the elders can be. After my daughters death I also got the do more speech. I was a pioneer and my daugher was also, I had to explain to them it would be difficult visiting my magazine calls since I had always visited them with my daughter...they still didn't get it. Well things escalated and I was accused of talking against the elders. The P.O. that "pushed my daughter over the edge" had the nerve to speculate to inquisitive publishers that my daughter wouldn't be resurrected.
You sound like a very loving husband, please get your wife some help as soon as possible. I live in seattle and there is a great sucide prevention organization that can give referrals to good counselors that specialize in suicidal patients, I'm sure they are in all major cities.
My heart goes out to you,
Sabine
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shamus
I never realized just how lethal they could be. They are like blindfolded snipers randomly firing off shots into a crowded plaza. Someone is going to get hurt, and I’m going to do everything in my power to get my wife out of this cult before she is hit by their bullet. Hopefully my wife is starting to see the WTS’ true colors now.
As do I. However, her mind is way too cloudy to see the light right now.... she has her own problems to deal with, and you are very correct. Those elders made her feel like she's worth as much as dog poo. That is the last thing that she needed to hear. A plumber and a window salesman....
I know b/c I have been there.
Your wife needs support NOW. Not right now, but RIGHT NOW. She needs to see a doctor and I know that you are arranging that...
It sounds cheesy, but this website saved my life.
Get your wife on a message board and let her vent out all that's inside her. There are 5 links to different message boards. Just choose one and get her some help. She needs to understand what is going on right now, and understand that doing more is going to kill her.
Right now she is feeling worthless. Please get her to a doctor immediately. Suicide is something that should not be taken for granted, not even for a second.
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NoMoreMeetings
Winston
My heart goes out you and your wife. You and your wife are in a difficult situation. Elders are completely unqualified for any counseling what so ever.
Do not lose your faith in God. Pray for Holy Spirit to guide you.
You may want to share scriptures with your wife such as John 6:28,29 dealing with the
WORK of a Christian is BELIEVING, and loving one's neighbor, not filling out a field service report.
Regarding threats of suicide, if your wife has set a time in the near future to do this, it is an emergency!!!
Try to find a counselor who is a Christian. A secular counselor who is not may not be of as much help.
Try calling 1-800-WHY-1914.
NMM