The only thing I "want" for my birthday

by berylblue 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  berylblue

  Is to hear from my daughters again.
  
  It is not going to happen.

  I just thought you'd like to know.

  Rosemarie

  (That's a personal joke, the "I just thought you'd like to know". Been using it for years whenever I throw an ostensible non sequitor into a conversation. It's what co-workers used to say to me every time I was going to get blamed for something someone else did....always as a very desultory thought, as in, "Hi, Rosemarie, how are you, beautiful day, great outfit, the new deli opened up the street, Peggy got a new necklace and ...and...and...and...and..."(on and on about other really important things and then, finally), "OH, by the way, Tom Barton lost all the negatives for the new brochure and Dick Martin's really pissed off at you because now you'll miss the deadline. I just thought you'd like to know")

  I have adopted it for my own use.

  Just thought you'd like to know.)
• 

  blondie

  I'm not your daughter, but then I don't really have a mom either, rosemarie. I'm probably old enought to be your mom.

  +

  Blondie
• 

  m0nk3y

  HAPPY BirthDAY B !! *hugz*

  Heheh I understand what you mean about the line you use .. I have a few simalar things I say.

  monk3y
• 

  Scully

  Another lioness!! Wonderful!!

  Pssst Rosemarie, if you come to my place on Saturday, we'll share some b-day cake....

  I wish your daughters would let you have your birthday wish. But since they won't, I hope that knowing your friends here love you and care about you will help a little.

  Love, Scully
• 

  berylblue

  Oh, wait....it's not until August 12....sorry........................................

  Already getting upset though.

  THANKS EVERYONE
• 

  obiwan

  I'll give you a big hug, how about that?

  (((((berylblue)))))
• 

  teejay

  Rosemarie,
  
  Bump this thread back to the top in about four days. I got something to tell you, in case you'd like to know...
• 

  berylblue

  Thanks, Ob. Thanks, teejay. Thanks, everyone.

  It's all kind of silly, isn't it? Birthdays? And wishing my daughters would call? They won't. I never celebrated it until this year anyway. They are not going to call or write, ever.

  You know, it's my fault in more ways than one. I never said anything to them when they hurt me badly (and they have, believe me), not once, ever. I took some verbal abuse from them which other mothers would not have. Had I told them at the time they hurt me, instead of keeping it inside, all the years of being called names and being lied about wouldn't have come out in one semi-drunken argument.

  Oh well.
• 

  teejay

  Interesting post, Rosemarie. A couple things...
  
  I'll be 46 soon and I've never been to my own birthday party, which is cool since one of my character flaws is that I don't care much for being the center of attention. I rather enjoy being on the periphery at social events, ducking and moving (so no one can get a clear shot at me), if you know what I mean. :D To me, birthdays ARE kinda silly. But being upset that your daughters don't call? Nah. That's not silly.
  
  Having been a JW all my life, I've been on both sides of the shunning process. So, like a lot of us I've kinda learned to turn feelings on and off in certain situations. But still, it would bother me if there ever came to be a rift between my daughter and me where we weren't speaking.
  
  One thing I know: it wouldn't be my fault... at least not for long. I can be a butthole sometimes (no really... I can!) so I can see someone taking a word of mine in the wrong way, but I'd try to fix it with my daughter. I can't see living my life and not having an open and close relationship with her.
  
  Last thing, you said I never said anything to them when they hurt me badly. I took some verbal abuse from them which other mothers would not have.
  
  Know what? I guess it's the JW thing again, but I also learned that you're not going to be able to have perfect peace with people all the time. Not even with loved ones. There are times that you're not going to like even your friends and they aren't going to like you. Disagreements and even hard feelings are a fact of life and impossible to totally avoid. So you might as well speak your mind. Being nice is the preferred option, but it's very possible to be perfectly diplomatic and still tell somebody to go to hell.
  
  Later, Sweetie. I'm off to meet the mule.
• 

  teenyuck

  {{{{Rosemarie}}}}

  Happy Birthday!!!

  I am sure your daughters thought of you. Even fleetingly.

  Hugs,

  Tina