By responding, you may as well walk up to the wall and bang your head. It will make ZERO difference what you say.
The Elders have a task at hand. They have been instructed to get in touch with DF'd and inactive ones to invite them to the memorial.
Not trying to hurt your feelings but all he is doing is a task that he was instructed to do. Nothing more.
You were kind and loving in reaching out to him. Let it go at that...a good deed.
Like Doc says....the best revenge is living a happy and successful life. Hugs to you! The world needs more kind and loving people like you.