Man, I remember those days. They were painful.
I was an elder and my head would explode during meetings.
JW_Rogue's advice was great.
Hang in there, don't let them kick you our, just FADE.
Struggling to Live a Lie
by Addison0998 26 Replies latest jw friends
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truthlover123
It is difficult - I and three others in various congs are going through the same thing.... not giving donations, min service and comments, look at everyone suspiciously its a terrible way to live but its either age, faith in Jehovah himself, and not the org. - no where else to go to build "acquaintencaes" anymore.. and on and on --It's a trap... and unless you have a good support system on the "outside" its stay in and keep your thoughts to yourself, although some day you may want to break free then do it - but pick your battles
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Incognito
If you expect your siblings and parents will treat you badly if you were to DA, then by you not DA'ing is showing them more consideration and love than you expect to receive from them.
If you can no longer tolerate conditional
loveacceptance by your family, or if they wouldn't treat you badly if you did DA, then there would likely be little to lose by DA'ing and so there would probably be little hesitation in doing so. Each of our circumstances is unique so how we choose to leave the Org needs to be appropriate according to our individual circumstances and what we are willing to continue to tolerate.In consideration of the circumstances you have shared with us, I would suggest not being too quick to DA. Once a person announces they have DA'd, that is not something that can be easily taken back whereas if you fade, you then continue to have the option to DA in the future.
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sparrowdown
At the end of the day nobody really knows how people will react or what the knock-on effect will be and it can keep you tied in knots worrying about it. All legal adults are technically resposible for themselves and their own reactions and their own decisions. Choose the the action and you choose the knowable consequences, if you're ok with that you'll be fine.
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FedUpJW
I respectfully disagree with the suggestions to ask "awkward" questions.
Agreed. It is difficult, but silence can be your friend in these kinds of situations. Many years ago my father gave me some very good advice, "Don't write it if you can say it. Don't say it if you can mumble it. Don't mumble it if you can keep quiet." If one ponders what he meant we will see how smart those words really were. No one, absolutely no one, can hang you with words that you never wrote or said. Even Sad Sack JDub eldurrs.
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bennyk
Addison0998,
The Elders disrespected you, removed your "privileges", and destroyed your morale. They stumbled you.
That is your "out".
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sparrowdown
One more thing - "Resistance is not futile."
Quote from Star Trek, Next Gen, ep "I Borg"