emperor, have you considered getting power of attorney ( or similar ) for your brother ?
My younger brother officially Disassociated today
by pale.emperor 33 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
moreconfusedthanever
What a brave man your brother is. If he is anything like my son, changes are hard to handle but he made a decision to change his life and remove himself from the religion and people who caused so much anxiety.
New carers will initially be a cause of anxiety but also the best thing for him. A complete break from JW world. The elders actually wouldn't need to tell the carers to quit. Unless his carers are waking up they would quit without being told.
He will be able to be his true self and have carers with no agenda other than to sincerely assist him to survive in a neurotypical world.
He will need you more than ever now. The one family member who will accept him as he is.
-
jp1692
PE, that fact that any of this is happening just further proves what we here already know: this is a manipulative, destructive, high-control, authoritarian cult.
Ultimately, your brother will be better off with this in his rearview mirror, but the transition can certainly be rough as countless here among us can testify.
I'm glad to know he has you!
-
Giordano
I am happy for you and your brother that he survived his ordeal a while back. You really stepped up then.
I also respect the fact that he DA himself....... normally I favor a fade......but in your brothers situation the toxicity of being among the JW's and dealing with his JW family as well as the Elders had become very dangerous for him.
HE is showing a lot of courage.
-
flipper
Wow. Pale- I agree with Carla for sure here. I would get on the phone in a hot second to Social Services or whoever is employing your brother's caregiver. I don't think it's legal or it's any of the elders business to interfere with your brothers caregiver situation. It's not their call or decision who is giving care to your brother . It's the decision of the caregiver's employer. I do think it's tampering and breaking the law.
And the elder who told your brother , " We miss you at the KH. ( They say that to everyone ) Can we come and see you to see if we can help in any way ? ( They say that to everyone who leaves ) I don't think you UNDERSTAND what dissassociating means ."
They don't say that last sentence to everyone. To me the elders are essentially telling your brother in a subtle way that due to his Asperger's - he doesn't know what he's doing and they are trying to take his free will away from him. Or it's manipulating his view of his ability to think for himself and make his own decisions here. I don't think it's " nice " at all what these elders are doing to him. They are using his Aspergers against him as a crutch telling him that he " doesn't understand " - when in fact- he does understand and it's HIS right as an adult to make his own decision here, not the elders right. Gotta watch these elders man, they are smarmy, unethical creatures who will do anything to coerce an unsuspecting prey back into the JW cult. Just sayin' here bro. Don't let these elders control your brothers destiny if you can help it. I do not think their motives are good
-
pale.emperor
I spent the day with him today. We went to down like we used to do when we were in our teens and visited museums, libraries, our favorite shops and had coffee etc. He said to me "this is the best day i've had in years". Then he apologized for shunning me when i first left. He told me that our sisters and our mum put a lot of pressure on him to cut me off and that our sister literally watched over his shoulder and dictated to him what to write in a text message to me saying he wants nothing to do with me. He apologized but i told him no apology needed and i understand what the JWs are like.
We saw witnesses on their carts. He wanted to approach and give them hell but i told him not to. They see ex-members as bitter and angry and sad. Lashing out like that would only confirm their persecution complex.
One thing i noticed is that since he cut all ties his self worth has soared. He was talking to the cashiers, talking to tourists, helping people with bags, giving directions. A whole world away from the deflated, depressed, sad man i knew last year.
When he got home he sent me this text:
-
millie210
Your post and his text have truly made my day. Thank you for sharing and I hope you and your brother feel all the support coming your way.
-
Incognito
To me the elders are essentially telling your brother in a subtle way that due to his Asperger's - he doesn't know what he's doing and they are trying to take his free will away from him. - flipper
They imply this when he indicates he wants no further part in the religion, yet they accept he is capable to fully understand being baptized and they wouldn't hesitate to punish with disfellowshipping if he committed an offense against the religion's requirements.
-
pale.emperor
They imply this when he indicates he wants no further part in the religion, yet they accept he is capable to fully understand being baptized and they wouldn't hesitate to punish with disfellowshipping if he committed an offense against the religion's requirements.
Exactly. They already asked if they could come round and talk to him. Plural. Not one elder, but two or more. I reckon it's just so they can DF him instead like they did with me. I DA'd, stupidly accepted their offer to "just talk about it" with them and it turned out to be a Judicial Committee and i was DF'd
-
LisaRose
It's hard enough for anyone to leave the religion, I can't imagine how much more difficult it is for your brother. It's better if he never had to talk to the elders, as they obviously have an agenda and won't consider his disability in evaluating what he says. I would encourage him to just say "I don't want to talk about it" to whatever they say.