Thank you all, each and every one of you, for the kind words and advice. I talked with my hubbie (drwtsn32) and we both think it's a good idea to write a letter to my parents and, as suggested, write/put it away for awhile/edit it/repeat, until I'm sure it's what I want to say. Also to cc: it to my siblings. Today I felt this strong urge to call my mom and just plead for her forgiveness. I called my husband instead, and when I got home I had all these loving and kind messages from all of you. Thank you so very, very much. Words can't express how grateful I am that each of you cared enough to take the time to write me.
With the change in Simon's board I haven't been able to post from my home computer until now, but I just wanted to give you a hug. I can't offer any more advice - you've already received some very good suggestions.
My father and step-mum are emotionally manipulative, and sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and refuse them to control you, no matter how much it hurts to say "no". We are taught as children to always do what our parents tell us to do, especially if we were brought up as JWs. But when we are in emotionally unhealthy situations we have to do what is for our own good first. We have to look after ourselves otherwise we aren't in the position to be of help to anyone else.
BTW, I wasn't aware that drwtsn32 was your hubby. He's a cool guy and I'm sure he is taking very good care of you whilst you are in this situation.
one more thing about the letter writing - allow yourself to freely express all your feelings in them. The first ones are just for your benefit and no one will see them (well maybe you will show hubby). Let your anger eespecially come out on the page. You will be editing it later so this is a good way so say a lot of those things you might not say or would say and then feel terrible guilt for. They need to come out of you or they will stay inside and only hurt YOU. The letter writing is a safe way to let it out.
One more thing. You may feel a bit of guilt about what comes out on the paper. This is the kind of guilt that isn't ours (imposed by others). Ignore this kind of guilt. It's purpose is to control you. Just keep writing. It's only a piece of paper and they will never see 99 % of it
