I haven't posted here in a few months and to be honest I haven't been lurking either. I hope everyone is doing well.😊 I wanted to take a minute to let you know how things have been the last few months.
Recently the brothers decided to FINALLY consider my letter of resignation. They met with me alone and I let them know why I have become inactive as a publisher and why I no longer wish to serve as an elder in the congregation. Overall the conversation with the body went well. I told them that I no longer trust God because of the loss of our children. I also told them that due to depression especially as the anniversary of the loss of our daughter Rose approaches, my depression has only gotten worse. They were actually ok with the wife and I going to grief support meetings which was kinda surprising. They still want me to serve but I told them I cannot and they accepted that. They also offered us a bible study which is a joke since I have no faith in God. My wife doesn't want a study either considering what she knows about the organization.
So things are progressing as good as they can at this point. We still attend some meetings but we are slowly fading away from them. Hopefully soon we can wash our hands of this filthy organization once and for all.
As for the depression, not sure how to deal with that. We talk openly about it but just getting up in the morning is a chore. I hate work, We plan to go away on vacation to commemorate our daughter as well as our sons loss. Hopefully we can find some healing in time?? Not really sure that'll ever happen.