Low Day For Me Today

by pale.emperor 17 Replies latest jw experiences

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  dubstepped

  I bet you could have spent that time away from the meeting today getting to know some new friends that actually care about you instead of being mentally and emotionally tormented by a destructive cult and toxic family. I understand the pull, but I don't think that everyone can (maybe you can) live a life that they don't believe in and know is toxic just for others. I think that the pull at your head and heart while trying to fake something like that might drive you mad, and for what? So that you can get toxic people back and be beholden to a lifestyle that is JW even if you fade, because they now are to shun even those inactive that don't live up to JW standards? It is a game that you cannot win as I see it. I say this not to discourage you, but because I care. Maybe you don't need or want that right now, and I understand.

  In less than a year I have more friends and people that care about me than I ever had while in. Yesterday I went to a birthday of a 4 year old little girl and had fun and got to know new people. Today I went to a baptism celebration (the event wasn't religious in the slightest, basically a barbecue with lots of people) for a little 7 month old girl and met family of the hosts who were the only people we knew, and barely, and made new friends. Heck, a guy from Colorado invited me out if I'm ever out that way.

  Good people are out there that would like to be your friend. They don't have rules and regulations for you to uphold, and they don't want or need you to be entirely fake. The new life that my wife and I have is amazing. I want that for you and your little girl. I don't want her to be raised as a little JW drone. I don't want her friends and family to depend on the cult obedience. I don't want the relationship between you two to be influenced by toxic religion and people. I'd love to see you two ride off into the sunset and leave those people behind. I'd be happy to be a friend to you if you lived nearby. I'm sure others would to. We're here right now trying to be that in the ways that we can.

  I'm sorry you're having a low day today. The journey does have some of those even for those of us that are out and happy with it and not trying to get back in for any reason. I just can't see how every day of being around the cult can't result similarly in a low day though. They really have no high to offer.
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  Faded

  If you truly intend to get reinstated, I think you need to stop posting under this name. You got df'd because you were busted by relatives for posting on here right?

  The situation is horrible. I hope you find true friends and leave these phonies behind.
• 

  Daniel1555

  That's a hard situation, to still attend when your ex and her family are in the same congregation.

  Only you know, what is best to do in your situation.

  I can tell you what I did. I am also divorced, df'd for apostacy, left alone by all my jw friends, my ex trying to limit my time with my son (3 years) as she said that she always will take him to the meetings, even if it is during my visitation time.

  I'd never ever try to get reinstated. If someone is shunning me, it is their problem. However I am glad, that my parents don't shun me.

  I slowly made new friends, who don't drop me just because I feel or think differently. I enjoy my free time, no service, no meeting anymore. I do some volunteer work of which I hope my son will be proud of me one day. And most importantly, I fight for my visitation time, I went to court and got the right to be with him every second weekend from Friday till Sunday and shared custody. Also my ex has to accept, that if he is with me, there'll be no Friday and no Sunday meeting for my son.

  I celebrate his birthday with him and make it known to him that I don't follow all those crazy JW rules and that there is a world outside of JW life. I try my best to show him a moral way of life that is based on love, compassion, human rights and freedom. I show him tolerance of many different religious views. And I do everything that he has happy moments with me and that he feels loved by me. Love is the greatest weapon to counteract his indoctrination.

  But I could never ever pretend to be a JW and hide something in front of my son.

  Children are very smart. From an early age they realize when you are pretending something you are not.

  If your daughter is older and she realizes your true feelings, I bet that you'll be df'd again.

  You could ask yourself:

  Would I allow a blood transfusion, if my daughter needed it?

  Do I wanna raise my daughter in JW ways, when she is with me during my visitation time?

  I was disfellowshipped for those reasons. Because I told them that I would never ever let him bleed to death and because I celebrated his birthday and because I didn't believe that a god of love commanded all those cruel things in the bible and that he never ever would kill innocent children or those who don't believe in him in armaggeddon. I openly told them that their shunning rules are against human rights.

  I am happy and proud that I was df'd for those reasons. I am sure one day my son is older will understand and be proud and happy too that I give him a view of a different life than the JW life.

  I know that this all and your situation is hard and that sometimes you feel low. But you are courageous and strong and a great daddy for your girl. She'll be proud of you.
• 

  punkofnice

  Pale - My ex rushed after me - along with her parents. In the back room i was comforting my daughter when my wife snatched her off me again, and her dad shaking his head at me and walked out again. As she was being carried away she was crying "daddy! daddy" and reaching for me. My ex took her into the baby change room with her mother.

  Animals!

  Well, it's your life. The more yopu associate with the destructive cult as a shunned one, is the more they will kick you down. It's sad but true.

  I'm sorry. You are in a crap situation. The JWs do not understand love but they only know hate.
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  nowwhat?

  I usually don't give advice, but because of your daughter,you are going to have to bite the bullet, play the game to get reinstated.
• 

  nancy drew

  The way that you feel about the organization is not going to change if you return but will fester inside. Right now you are feeling stressed and missing the family feeling you once had but it will never be the same again because you see the organization for what it is. It's obvious you love your daughter but think about her long term welfare do you want her to be a JW and what will you say when she realizes you haven't been upfront with her but allowed her to be indoctrinated by an devious organization. It's tough and can be a little lonely at first but it's worth it.

  Here's a famous line "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately to front only the essential facts of life and see if I could not learn what it had to teach and not when I came to die discover that I had not lived".
  
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  nmthinker

  pale.emperor, they don't want you around, I don't know why you keep going back for more punishment. Move on with your life and start living life as a man.
• 

  Giordano

  Pale Emperor:

  "Because I told them that I would never ever let him bleed to death..........."

  My wife and I felt the same way and would not have a child until we shook off the WT nonsense about Blood and Armageddon.

  Back in the 1960's the Blood Doctrine didn't seem to be a big deal we were young and healthy. But when push comes to stove we realized that we would not obey that teaching. We went our merry way in life then:

  On November 18, 1978, Peoples Temple leader Jim Jones instructed all members living in the Jonestown, Guyana compound to commit an act of "revolutionary suicide," by drinking poisoned punch. ... The Jonestown Massacre was the most deadly single non-natural disaster in U.S. history ...

  That changed our understanding of what it meant to be coerced into a dangerous and reckless situation. And what it meant to cherish a belief over parental love and appreciation for life. Men, women and children died at Jonestown. Google it..... the pictures are compelling.

  Over nine hundred people were encouraged....some at gun point...... to drink fruit flavored poison. They even rehearsed the act with their entire families.

  Now your average JW gets pretty pissed off when you compare the People's Temple with the JW's.

  But let me ask this....... if 900 or so suicides (people were also murdered if they refused the poison) disgusted the entire world what would they say if they knew that at least that many JW's die every year on average since 1945. Many others had to pass on a life saving transfusion because many operations couldn't take place without blood.

  JW mothers still lose their life and take their unborn babies life with them.

  That No Blood statement JW's are so proud of can turn into a suicide note in a heart beat.

  I wouldn't suggest reinstatement at this point in life I'd suggest there has to be one parent ready and willing to save that little girl, a parent who has legal standing.

  And make sure you know who her doctors are and make sure they have your permission to do everything possible to save her life.