Are single sisters happier?

by Esmeralda001 50 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LisaRose

  I was a classic example, rushed into an early marriage at 17, made a mistake in who I chose and had to live with that bad choice for 28 years, as divorce was not an option. I eventually left both the marriage and the religion, as my health began to suffer and I just could not tolerate the mental pain. It's a shame it had to come to that, if I had been allowed to divorce I would have had a very different life. I was told that it was always better to preserve the marriage no matter what, which is probably the worst advice I ever got in my life. All I did was give my children a bad example of what marriage is, my children are now paying the price for that in their own lives. My suffering was for nothing.

  The Watchtower model of early marriages and no divorce is a failure. Rather than resulting in happy marriages and intact families, it results in failed marriages, unhappy marriages and people getting disfellowshipped because they see no other way out. Choosing to stay unmarried is fine if that's what you want, but it shouldn't be a decision you make because your choices are so limited.

  They solution is to stop using a book written thousands of years ago as a guide to morality. Sex outside of marriage is not some horrible thing and pretending it is just make young people rush into marriage, because young people have a natural and normal desire to have sex. They shouldn't be made to feel guilty for doing what people have done for thousands of years. Instead they should focus on how to have a healthy relationship, and how to be responsible about sex.

  If people do make a mistake in choosing a marriage partner they should be allowed to divorce, not forced to stay no matter what, that is just a recipe for disaster.
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  Esmeralda001

  @Kaik

  wow. My heart broke! Are you still in touch with the sister's family? Was it known that she was suffering from severe depression? That's unfortunate :-(

  @Paintedtoenails

  It is quite difficult for me to give a valid explanation as to why I'm attracted to this religion. You would have to understand the mess that I have gone through this summer in order to be able see where this fascination comes from. Don't get me wrong: what's appealing to me is not the jw's as a group, but Rather their devotation to God. Most of these people are very disciplined and virtuous. I wish I could display such qualities. I know that it's not easy to join this religion, but the truth is that it's not any easier to be "in the world" either (that's my experience). I prefer to be unhappy while serving God rather than unhappy while leaving a messy life.

  I can deal with most of the rules imposed by the WT society. But when it comes to my education, THEY CAN'T TELL ME NOTHING!!!!! They can excommuniate a member because they want to pursue a career. The bible doesn't condemne high education.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
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  Esmeralda001

  @LisaRose

  Thank you for your answer. I am sorry that you were trapped in an unhappy marriage for so long! The WT society advises young people to wait until they are mature enough before making such a big life commitement. May I ask you why you married so young? Did your parents agree with your choice?
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  Esmeralda001

  @divergent

  thank you very much for this "article". Is there a way that I can show this to my study instructor without getting myself in trouble?
• 

  Finkelstein

  Being a single woman in the borg is a real hardship, your forced to marry only another male JWS, which being if you live in small community in a Hall that has only a couple of single men you don't have a lot of choices before you, particularly if your in your 40's and up and as others have said being single kind of puts you as an outcast.
  

  Most single JWS males are teens or adolescents or there is the odd middle aged man that never got married who for reasons unto themselves weren't attractive for marriage.
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  tiki

  One big issue I have with the witness marrying thing is that they totally overlook mutual attraction..falling in love...that real chemistry. Then they don't want two people to be alone together...and if that is followed the couple never can really get to know each other....and the parents like to marry their kids off way too young just in fear they'll be sexually active and get dfed. I'd never let my kid marry someone they never spent time alone with...or a kid unprepared to support his/herself....some things are just basic common sense.
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  sparky1

  "What's appealing to me is not the JW's as a group, but rather their devotion to God. Most of these people are very disciplined and virtuous. I wish I could display such qualities." - Esmeralda001

  First off, you must remove your 'rose colored' glasses. Many Jehovah's Witnesses are indeed good and decent people. However, when you scratch beneath the surface of most of them, their lives are mostly an act. They are devoted to and living a 'system' known as the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses. They are more interested in 'looking good' than being 'good'. Jehovah's Witnesses have just as many personal problems as 'worldly' people but they are just better at hiding them and keeping them away from the scrutiny of others. You seem rather young. My advice to you would be to work on yourself first before you even entertain thoughts of marriage. If you want to be 'disciplined and virtuous' than take it upon yourself to act in such a manner in all your dealings with people. You are a whole and decent person right now and you don't need a set of religious rules to tell you how to be a good human being.
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  Giordano

  I think it's time to think for yourself and not allow the WTBTS to prey upon your mental and emotional weaknesses from your past.

  The recent 2015 Pew survey of major religions in the USA has the JW's dead last on higher education...... they used to be next to last so they continue to go backwards. The same for income.....dead last. How about divorce? They have a 11% divorce rate which is the same as Catholics and most protestant religions. But way higher then Jews and Hindus.

  A religion should not be a trap but the JW's specialize in trapping people just like Scientologists do.

  Through their blood doctrine they kill more people each and every year then Jonestown. Jonestown caused people to take their own lives. In the JW world they carry a suicide note on their person they call it the No Blood card.

  Their core belief is that God is going to slaughter 99.9% of the worlds population and only the JW's will survive.

  If you are interested in finding a spiritual pathway explore other religions. There are actually a number of religions that are reasonably honest and can offer a spiritual experience as well as meet nice people. Try going to one religion a week and see what the experience is like. Find a women pastor and see what you think about that. Religion need not be a man's domain.
  

  You also need to google the JW's and learn their history from independent sources. Above all learn how dangerous they are in ways you might not have noticed.
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  Finkelstein

  I think any organization that institutes specific controls to whom people can marry and live happy productive fulling lives is a crime against humanity.
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  Esmeralda001

  @Giordano

  Thanks for the advise .