Are single sisters happier?

by Esmeralda001 50 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Sabin

  Clambake, I'm sure glad my hubby aint no JW. It is a protection for me, he can tell them to sling their hook & there's nothing they can do about it. & to boot he's a dame more spiritual then they are. JW's, religious YES, spiritual NO.

  Esmeralda, Live your life, do what you want that makes you happy (try not to get bapped or you will be trapped). You don't need to be married or have kid's to be a woman but when that one man comes along & you just know he's the one then go for it, that's what I say. You want a man who is your best friend as well as your lover & vice versa then you have a marriage made in heaven, that to me is a marriage in the Lord, one where there is real love. Not the conditional shit the JW live by.
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  RubaDub

  I can't speak for women directly but I think a certain degree of happiness would involve purchasing a varied supply of momma's little helpers with plenty of batteries (depending on ones libido, rechargeable batteries may make more economic sense).

  Rub a Dub
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  kaik

  TheWonderOfYou & Digonesister. Only my mom knew her well. She was friend with her since 1950's, prior my mom got baptized as JW. My mom and her and two other women used to go for weekend to resort town for a spa treatment and relaxation. She knew my father well. She never married and my mom never met anyone from her family.

  I know that except my mom, nobody liked her due her appearance. JW women in my KH were dressing gray colors, this is reason why mom called them mice. However, that woman loved bright colors. Always pink to red to mauve and orange/yellow. I would not say gypsy color, because that woman was not a gypsy. She was not extravagant either. But it was just her personality. She spent with us on assembly in Prague-Strahov in 1991 and she was all over one group of British JWs and very joyful. Several weeks later she had her suicide attempt. I recall seeing her prior that in the city, she just walked by me and later passed by my father without saying any word. Last time I saw her on wheelchair looking outside of the window; and later we find out that she died committing suicide. Also nobody claimed her body and the government was unable to trace any living relatives. Nobody from my KH went to visit her either, except our family.
  

  What I know she dreamed good, religious man, probably elder, but all the good men would be available after Armageddon. I know my mom was very devastated and she blamed herself that she did not do enough to prevent it.
  
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  ShirleyW

  Just speaking from observing the single sisters in the Cong I used to go to, who are now close to 50 years old, back when I was still attending they were waiting (or so they said) for a husband in the new system. However, if any single handsome bro showed them any attention, I'm sure they would've married in heartbeat. I think if someone just bent them over a chair and gave them what they obviously need, they would drop the Borg like a hot potato
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  Finkelstein

  Sadly many woman are captivated or enslaved by their own beliefs such as well I'll have a real good husband in the new System.
  

  My concern right now is to make sure I make into the new system by being subservient to the WTS leaders.
  

  Or they are so afraid to act out of the norm around the seeing eyes of elders as to cling to the controls of this organization out adverse fear.
  

  I wouldn't want to be woman in this religion, not by a long shot., realizing the demeaning misogynistic position the men of this organization take over woman.
  
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  LongHairGal

  
  

  ESMERALDA:

  Honestly, I would say No unless contrasted with unhappily married women. Singleness is definitely better than that.

  It is only natural to want love and marriage.

  There are too many women and two few men in the Witness religion. What happens is the youngest and prettiest are married off and older women are left with nothing - even if they are attractive....These end up congregation hopping and being "fixed up" if they know the right people in the circuits. There were secret gatherings I was not invited to. Didn't matter too much because I wasn't sure I wanted to be married. (I dated a few nonJW men secretly.). Besides, I wasn't chasing some brother. When I was in the "world" men pursued me, which is as it should be.

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  KAIK:

  That is a very sad story you tell. It sounds like a sister driven mad with desperation possibly with underlying issues! And she turned on herself with self-hatred. I have always believed the Witness religion is emotionally unhealthy in general....But, it is more so to somebody yearning and waiting. Plus, the attitudes towards single women were not something I would tolerate. They think you are there to do favors for all the users and be disrespected with overstepping of boundaries and nosy questions. This all the more pathetic if you are older.

  This poor lady should have exited long before.

  I was TOO good to be sitting there tolerating any of this garbage!!...Call it pride or self-respect. These attitudes, and the Witnesses 1995 Generation teaching, are mainly why I walked away!
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  kaik

  LongHairGal, this woman died 1991 or early 1992. She jumped in front of the train at the end of the summer. I remember it, because it was still warm and she died in winter. She may have realized that no elder man was there out for her. When we were on assembly, she liked one particular, middle-aged British guy, and I translated for them. I even took picture for her of two of them. My mom said she may felt that her feelings were not returned at that assembly, but we may never known. She did not share this with my mom. She was just turning 60 and getting retired, so there was only prospect of loneliness in retirement. When she killed herself, she did not leave any message. However, everything she owned, she destroyed. The cop told us, she was doing this damage for several days, and it was planned. All her cloths were cut, all china was broken, pictures and upholstery cut off; she set a fire to her carpet and swallowed tons of pills for eternal sleep. We did not know she died until my mom was contacted by the city.

  With the group of four women, two were JWs, her and my mom. The other two studied, and went to KH from tiem to time, but never got baptized. She was also the only one who never got married. To me, she may have had some secret crash on someone in the past the way she dressed: jewelry, nice manicure, bright red polish, tailored cloths, and always wore make up. She always wanted to look good. If she got a chance to get married, having children, she could be a grandmother. But instead she was saving herself for some to be worthy and married in "Truth".
  
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  LongHairGal

  KAIK:

  Words just cannot describe how tragic the religion can be. That people can be driven to suicide for this or other reasons (not being good-enough, or committing the "unforgivable sin") is reason enough to get out of there.

  It was nice your mother was kind to her! It's all so cruel to women. This poor lady knocked herself out when there was nobody there to appreciate her. If she left years earlier before she got too old, she would have found somebody. Better to leave than be an object of astonishment or pity. I'd rather be viewed as somebody who left and considered "materialistic" or whatever than be sitting THERE! No way!

  Never mind the lies and faulty doctrine. This religion is too degrading to women and the best thing I ever did was to get the HELL out! The only benefit was that I stopped smoking.

  Other than that, glad it's over!
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  Beth Sarim

  People being driven to suicide because of religion practises should be a tell-tale sign that the religion they are is a sham. People cant see it that way in the Borg because of the ultimate fear of realizing what they've been believing for 45-50 years is wrong.
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  kaik

  Other than that, glad it's over!

  Amen to that. I wish my family will see it as well. Problem with WT that it ignores mental and personal crisis and does not care if any of its member dies. When she died, nobody in my KH cared at all, like she did not existed. I know my mom was deeply wounded and she blamed herself that she was not there for her at that right moment. It hurt her and my mom was never the same JW as before. These two women were in KH all the time together. My mom loves pastel blue colors wears white pears on program. She was sitting next to her in red corals, and all the color of fire outfit. They were so opposite. I do not remember what she doing for a work, and do not recollect much of her in the 1980's. She dreamed to be married to elder, or wait till Armageddon. It was just behind corners, and nobody should get old waiting 30-40 years.