by BeautifulMind 31 Replies latest jw experiences
It is possible to live a clean wholesome life without being rigidly controlled by religious indoctrination .
The WTS harms people by virtue of its doctrines to forget and bypass reality to instead embrace fear, ignorance and superstition by propagating spiritualism.
I have been thinking about this (to fade or not to fade) lately. I think what happens is that, assuming you were a fully believing JW at some point, to understand and believe tatt you must have already made some changes that set you apart from the average JW. It may be subtle at first, little things that happen that make you think differently or open your eyes. Then you learn tatt and that changes you even more, to the point that you are now somewhat of a different person. The person you are now cannot easily sit and listen to what you know is not only false, but designed to keep you enslaved to an organization.
Some people can stay and pretend at this point, but I don't think it's possible for many. You have evolved, those still in did not, and you will continue to evolve, making it harder and harder to fit in. You are a square peg that no longer fits into that round hole. I understand why some might stay for family reasons, but I don't think they truly get what that decision is going to do to them psychologically in the long run. Of course leaving can be extremely difficult as well, but it does allow you to live your life with integrity, and to continue to grow and evolve as a person.
This is just the beginning, so welcome to the rest of your life!
Ever since the emotional detachment and full understanding of TTATT, the guilt is gone and I just enjoy the social aspect of it.
I daydream with attending meetings a couple of times per month, skipping the Friday of he RA, skipping one of the small assys, out on service just a couple of times each month. Just enough to avoid being kicked out.
SL
Fading is done at your own speed, your needs. I stopped going to the meetings for about 4 months shortly before my husband stepped down as an elder. He went for a few more weeks and then I saw how drained he was and said that if he was going to keep the wolves at bay from me, that he should just stay home. He has no family in the WTS (but that doesn't mean that non-jws don't shun) and I am 3rd gen. No meetings, no funerals, weddings, conventions/assemblies at all for 14 years. The first weekend we slept in on Saturday and Sunday and the weekends have been great every since.
Good for your husband, you and kids.
Love Blonde and Irreverent
I intended to fade, but after a couple of weeks of not going, Mrs Phizzy said to me, "We're never going back are we ?" and I replied, as the truth of what she said dawned upon me, "You're right".
Up until she said that I had it in the back of my mind to turn up for the odd Meeting, but I knew that would be very hard, the "we have missed you, is something wrong?" type of question would have been hard to deal with.
As it happens, the Cold Turkey method worked out well for us, we have had some close shaves, but still retain our desired status of "Inactive, non-Attending". It is close on eight years since we walked away.
A short fade is still a fade: short and sweet.
If you want to keep it that way (just a "fade"), don't put up Halloween deco or Xmas lights. Just stay home and be "stumbled" by someone at the KHall. Everyone can relate to that. haha
Congrats.
Doc
