I recently had a young woman contact me through one of my websites. She had been studying with a older JW lady and was a bit conflicted as to whether to join. She told me that the JW woman was telling her that if she didn't start attending meetings that she would stop studying with her. This was after just a few weeks. She wasn't quite sure what "ex-JW" meant in the grand scheme of things but came to me to see if I could help her understand what was and would be happening if she got more involved.
I won't go into all the details of what I shared with her. But I described how book studies and going to public talks, Watchtower Studies, Ministry School and Service Meetings were like 50 years ago. I let her know that in those days we could really comment, using our own words and ideas. In those years the brothers used outlines, but prepared their own talks. I described how we would meet at someone's house on a Tuesday evening and would all hug and chat and share a cup of tea and then sit down and study a chapter in one of our books. Then, after the study we'd chat some more, share a little gossip, maybe have a cup of coffee, and then go home in time to watch a couple of shows on the TV before bed.
But now Book Studies are gone forever (they were the best and most relaxed of all the meetings.) Ministry School has been laughable for years. None of the brothers do their own research or prepare their own talks and aren't allowed to vary at all.
Soon everyone will just open up their iPods and then listen word for word what they have already read and studied before hand and are reading again. No one sticks around after meetings, mostly because in most locations another congregation will be coming in behind you within the next half hour.
So I continued to explain "love-bombing." How everyone will come up and greet a new person, but look around and you will see everyone either heading for the door or just mixing with their closest friends. It told her to listen to the mind-numbing prayers before and after and try to make sense of the songs. I asked her if she thought God would even spend a couple of seconds listening to such stilted, repetitive and uninspired prayers.
I could go on - but you get the idea. I did not discourage her from going - in fact, I encouraged her to go and decide for herself if that was something she wanted to do two nights a week for the rest of her life.
A few days ago she emailed me to report what had happened. She asked me how long it had been since I attended a meeting? I responded back that it was at a Memorial 3 or 4 years ago at a KH I had never attended before.
She wrote me back and said that I had nailed it. She described the cliques, the prayers, the stilted way the brothers gave their talks. She told me that knowing that I was an ex-JW that she was a little dubious at first - but afterward she realized that everything I described was happening right in front of her. She told me that she was just off the phone with the sister who had been studying with her. She told the sister that she would not be interested in any more studies.
Can you guess what the sister's response was? Yep...
She wanted to know if the young woman had been talking to or reading websites by apostates? She wanted to know who had gotten to her and changed her mind. The answer she got was along these lines: "What you described about the meetings made me think that I would love being there. But I was told that the meetings would actually be quite boring, featuring long meaningless prayers, stilted speaking styles, insincere encouragement. And that's what I actually saw when I went. I can't do that every week for the rest of my life. I'm glad I was warned ahead of time. I have no desire to ever go again."
Another soul saved...
JV
