I came here three years ago for support and to make friends (page 7)

rebelfighter

KateWild

Chemistry and Biology sorry for the mixup. My field was always math or the arts. Those were the sciences and when I was in school oh lordy day get me out of here quick. Those were science and not my game.

Simon

So let's get this right ... first you said you never used them. When I showed how many times you had, you then claimed that you meant "before today". Then when I showed that they went back a long way, you are trying to claim that they are all bogus and the system is broken? (I presume the reason you bumped a topic about counters but didn't bother to read the explanation in it).

Problem with the Like and Dislike Buttons

KateWild

If it helps, I find your portrayal of genuineness and sincerity very convincing. - Simon

If you don't think I am portraying myself inappropriately you have the power to delete my posts, but you normally just check me. If we have a problem, you are the owner and I will behave in a way that you feel is appropriate to maintain the privilege of being a member of your forum.

The last thing I want to do is break the posting rules or disrespect you

KateWild

you are trying to claim that they are all bogus and the system is broken - Simon

I really don't want to get you angry. I wasn't claiming the votes were bogus, and I did read your explanation that they get cleared.

I don't want to debate with you it's 1.50am here in the UK and I am really tired. You're a good person for wanting to help people like me and I am grateful for all the support I get. I understand that you think it's wrong of me to crave attention. So I will stop being like that. Sorry Simon

Pete Zahut

Howdy Kate,

I have to remind myself that the friendships we create on this forum are "virtual friendships" and these friendships exist only in the imagination.

It's easy for those of us who were around before the Internet, to employ the same social skills we developed for use in the real world, while socializing in cyberspace. Even when we are aware of the difference between real life friends and Virtual friends, it's easy to forget ourselves and "project our own "virtual warm feelings" onto others and have our real life feelings "virtually hurt" when they don't "respond virtually", in kind.

I've found myself feeling a little hurt or offended when someone misunderstood one of my poorly written comments and half baked ideas or when someone hit the dislike button after reading something I had written. I have to remind myself that the narcissistic side of my personality needs to be kept in check when interacting online with those I consider to be Virtual friends. It would be easy to become preoccupied with wanting ones comments to be admired by everyone or to develop and inflated idea about our own importance to this forum, only to be hurt by the realization that we are not the center of the virtual universe.

Also, it used to be that in order to be considered a bully, you actually had to do something mean to someone weaker than yourself. These days you can be labeled a bully by just typing a few disagreeable words in response to a comment made by someone you've never even met. I've read most of your posts Kate and I'm imagining you as someone who would be far from being easily bullied, virtually or otherwise.

Anyway, the nice thing is, it's up to us to choose how we will react in the physical world, to the goings on of our imaginary friends in the virtual world.

You always have something interesting to say or add to an ongoing discussion so I think you should just keep going as you have been only try not to wear your virtual heart on your virtual sleeve, (learned that lesson myself).

Pete

Simon

If you don't think I am portraying myself inappropriately you have the power to delete my posts

I think your double negative makes that not mean what you don't think it does ... n't.

The last thing I want to do is break the posting rules or disrespect you

I don't care about respect and although I do care about the posting rules, this has nothing to do with them.

It's simply about being honest with people, especially when it's todo with fishing for likes which comes across as just another avenue for attention seeking. What is the value of telling anyone an untruth about something so trivially unimportant and then doubling down on it when it's shown up? I honestly don't know whether to question your motives or your sanity or you have some insecurity that you think you need some validation by anonymous strangers on the internet to solve.

My experience is that being honest with people about the small stuff and the big stuff leads to greater trust and friendship. Heck, even if people don't like me, at least they might trust me to be honest.

I really worry about your state of mind. Your description of me in your OP is not something I recognize:

My very best friend of all that I have made on this site, is Simon. He is a good friend and always keeps me on my toes. Thanks for being my friend Simon

This sounds cruel but we are not friends. That does not mean I hate you, it's just a simple fact - we live on different continents, have never met or spoken, I have no idea what you are like in real life or what you like to do or if we would get on if we hung out. Maybe we would, but I think you may be struggling with what you think a friend is and trying too hard to make people be your friend and then getting confused how to correctly respond if you think they don't reciprocate.

Again, I'm sorry, that sounds like I'm being harsh and cruel but I'm just trying to help.

Giles Gray

KateWild

I don't wish to be unkind, but maybe the reason why you have lost someone you considered a 'friend' is because of the way you treat people.

On the thread in question, you falsely accused two posters of having impure motives. It didn't stop there.

You went on to send at least one, if not both of these posters quite scathing PMs (something you have done to other people on this forum). This upset both posters to the extent that they both feared to continue in the discussion and kept out of it. To put it another way, you literally 'bullied' them off your thread for challenging you.

One of these posters is in your list of friends. Luckily for you they are very understanding and they give you plenty of slack. But it could be that over time, should you continue to treat people you consider 'friends' in such a manner, they will grow tired of your behaviour and avoid you.

Commendably, after it had been pointed out to you, you apologised. But would you have apologised if it hadn't been pointed out to you?

If you hadn't said you were sorry to your 'friend', could you blame them had they not wished to be your friend any longer? You would have only had yourself to blame.

Victim mentality only stretches so far, and many on here suspect you play at being one. When people see you are not being as considerate as you require of others, they will be put off.

Make sure this is not happening in your loss of this 'friend'.

KateWild

I've found myself feeling a little hurt or offended when someone misunderstood one of my poorly written comments and half baked ideas or when someone hit the dislike button after reading something I had written. - Pete

I have only ever seen you write good things. You say things in a kind and respectful manner and you are never impatient or aggressive to me

KateWild

I honestly don't know whether to question your motives or your sanity or you have some insecurity that you think you need some validation by anonymous strangers on the internet to solve. - Simon

I am using double negatives because I am overtired. You know it's really nice that you are even having a conversation with me to try and determine which it is. I know that I am not motivated by something sinister or untoward. But my mental state could be in question. I got upset and wanted some support. I am very emotional. It's nice of you not to rush to judgement. And I am very insecure too.

Simon

I'd suggest you go get some sleep then! We'll all still be here tomorrow. Well, unless there's an asteroid ... or a super nova ... or a sudden black hole ... or armageddon ...

Seriously, stop worrying and overthinking things - have a peaceful sleep.

I came here three years ago for support and to make friends

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