by freddo 20 Replies latest jw friends
If you are a fader or you have reduced activity markedly - say resigned as a pioneer or an elder or MS or gone inactive and still have some relationship with your immediate family or spouse - how do you stay positive around them when you feel like shaking them out of their stupor but believe deep down it would be counter productive?
Thoughts from all most welcome.
I have done exactly as Darkknight above, ever since I left.
It isn't difficult, I have been so happy since I left that it just shines out of me, and even if I get miserable, negative news from them, one particularly likes to report which JW's have died or are seriously ill, I always have some positive words.
Let's face it.our life of freedom and hope is so much better than theirs, where they know deep down that their "hope" is hollow and will not happen.
OMG do I have to bite my tounge. Here is a good example of a conversation i had with my father yesterday.
Me=it's been speculated in the news that Wt may be a benefactor of Princes estate.
Dad= How do you even know he's a witness.
Me= show him Wt press release.
Dad= Well it says in the last days we will be persecuted.
Me = hey hang on a minute how is Wt taking someone's money - who by and large lived an immoral hedonistic life style - persecution. It will be interesting to see how it plays out, and the question remains of why wasn't he dfed.
Dad = Your on slippery ground and you are going to end up very hurt.
Conversation ends with an eye roll and dispear. How do you reason with someone like that.
Conversation ends with an eye roll and dispear. How do you reason with someone like that.
You don't. You leave it alone. They have the right to their beliefs just as you have the right to yours.
My mother is still a witness. I wouldn't dream of laying into her with whatever this week's forum hobbyhorse is. As long as she is happy that's fine by me.
We talk about the kids, holidays or whatever. If I was constantly attacking her faith then it would make for a strained relationship and why on earth would I want that with my mother?
Just as darknight says above.
yes, stay positive and happy as you speak about life. Witnesses have had it ingrained in them that anyone who slows down in witness activity (or leaves) will have a sad, depressing, hopless life full of problems.
By remaining upbeat and positive about life, they see that actually the opposite is true!
I talk about life, the real me. Being happy! Content! If they talk about religion, cult talk I leave the room or change the subject. If they insist sometimes I'll just listen, maybe they will drop a gem or a bomb....you never know with this bunch. It really just depends on the group how zealous the are or how feed up they are or disappointed.
Then you just ask question to get them thinking more on the trail you set out. Maybe lead them to a ARC website you just discovered or here's one I used. I took them to the JWorg website and showed them the sign language masturbation video. Funniest shit you will ever see. They cant believe it's on their website. At first they insist there no way then they realize yes way. The look on there face is priceless. Then they go quiet, then I go watch basketball....... LMAO
It depends on the family member. For instance, my mother in law is an active witness, however, she’s not focused on the “deep things”. For instance, she doesn’t try to understand the prophecies or to remember the names of various bible characters. She simply trust that the brothers are doing their best. She believes it is the truth and even fears that we may not survive Armageddon. However, as she sees our live style and the good actions we do here and there, she loves and respect us. To me, that is all that matters. So, we never talk about religion. Quite the contrary, I will even help her with her tablet and other things when needed.
My dad on the other hand loves to have a profound understanding of the bible. In his case, I knew he did not respect my choice and spent much of his time judging me. In that situation, I could not let it go. I did not see the point of holding onto a relationship where respect was not to be found. I believe that my father felt the same way as we talked and debated things for at least 100s of hours over several months. In the end, we now still talk and have mutual respect for each other. He does activities with my family and we still talk about religion from time to time. However, I do not try to take him out of his religion as I believe he is happy there. On the other hand, he doesn’t try to bring me back in as he also understand that I am very much happy where I am.
Positively show them during weekly bible reading, daily text how they have to better prepare to defend the truth. like : how do you explain the overlapping generation when you are at the doors? work to make them sharper, more knowledgeable witnesses.
Recent text was about Moses with the wisdom of the Egyptians. Clever people those Nile Dwellers, being able to build the Pyramids, while water lapped at the peak of Mount Everest. prepare to defend your faith!
I don't bring up religion with anyone but they sure as shootin start it up with me. They are so certain sure they are correct and have been chosen by the most powerful person in existence to show me how bad I am for not joining their particular brand of horse pucky.
If they respect my state of mind then I respect theirs.
Marina
