Being Positive around family that are still in.

by freddo 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  StephaneLaliberte

  I have to admit that sometimes, I find it hard not to share things that I see. For instance, I couldn't help to show my dad how the Watchtower was bragging and lying in regards to the "Telly Awards". He took it hard, but he had to concede that I was right.
  
  Than, not long after, I see the ADD card for the no blood transfusion. 1) It no longer has references to the fractions, 2) it now gives the elders the right to access my dad's medical record and 3) It comes with the directive to make photocopies! I was shocked. I wanted to talk to my dad. I even started writing an email on the subject. And then ... I deleted the draft. Its was just too soon. Too soon after the "negative shock" I sent with the "telly awards".

  So, I'll have to wait until it just comes up normally in some future conversation.

  In the meantime, I need to accept that my dad loves something that increases the risks to his health. At least, he doesn't smoke, do drugs, or drink too much. He doesn't do any life threatening activities either, such as driving too fast, bungee jumping or unprotected sex. So, overall, he has better odds than some others. Still, it would suck to die for a lack of blood when a loving God would obviously not ask for that.
• 

  ToesUp

  Darkknight said it perfectly.

  Sometimes I have to just walk away before I say too much or say anything at all. Like I have said before, saying anything is similar to banging your head on the wall.

  We choose to go watch a beautiful sunset or take a walk rather than spending our time trying to reason with unreasonable people. We already wasted enough of our life. We refuse to waste any more.
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  TheLiberator

  I just take interest in my wife's activities. I ask her if there were a lot of people at the meetings. I ask who she worked with in service. And every now and then, I ask how so and so is doing. I just keep things lite and positive. She's happy and so i must accept this and it makes my life easier.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  how do you stay positive around them when you feel like shaking them out of their stupor but believe deep down it would be counter productive?

  I make it a point to have positive things in my life to talk about. I avoid subjects like politics or disasters that might trigger JW reactions. If they start venturing toward JW things, I redirect to talking about the JWs we know. There's always plenty of gossip about who's become seriously ill, divorced, or started partaking.
  
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  prologos

  I think all these interactions are golden opportunities to sow seeds to freedom from wt's preposterous promises. keep it non-confrontational--positive. upbeat. ,

  Given the simplistic mindset of most serious believers, it could be easy to subtly introduce a thought that later will trigger Eureka moments in them. humor helps too, to make it fun.
• 

  Pete Zahut

  The best thing to do is give them the blankest look you can muster whenever anything JW related comes up. It really gets their curiosity up when they realize that it makes no difference to you anymore what JW do or say.
  

  Them: There was an earthquake in Timbuktu today...the end is really getting close...

  You: Blank look on face...eyes blinking.... crickets chirping in the background.... (do not answer no matter how uncomfortable the silence is) Count to 100 and change the subject.
  

  
  
• 

  StephaneLaliberte

  Them: There was an earthquake in Timbuktu today...the end is really getting close...

  Me: If only it could happen in my life time, it would be such a relief. In the meantime, we can try to analyse available geoseismic data in order to predict those accurately.
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  BeautifulMind

  I just try to change the subject to something else if they are talking directly to me. Like just the other day my in-laws asked when our regional is. I just said I didn't know and then changed the subject quickly to something new one of the kids is doing before they could get a follow up question in. If it's in a group setting with the family and they are talking about jw stuff, I just stay out of it. It works for me and everyone is happy.
• 

  Magwitch

  I'm very close with my parents who are in their mid 80's. My father still serves as an elder and my mother is right in the thick of things too. I have been DF'ed for ten years now. Here is what I have learned.......

  They will never accept anything unfavorable about JWism - NEVER. Why say anything? I tried in the beginning to educate them on the real Rutherford, the UN scandel etc. All I did was alienate them from me and hurt their feelings. I now let them go on about the twoof......endless stupid stories of the latest WT articles and who is working at Wallkill, how close the end is and how soon that resurrection is going to take place. It is painful for me to keep quiet, but have learned that it is a small price to pay for a peaceful, beautiful relationship with two gentle old people that have been fooled their whole life.
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  baker

  I like to try and relate the current political affairs and mention Hillary and Bill getting back in the white house, or Trump getting into the White House. Its surprising how JW,s have pretty strong feelings one way or the other about who will be in charge for 4 years and then I will say something like, if only you guys voted, 2 million votes one way or the other would change an election.