by Xena 38 Replies latest jw experiences
Another uprooted one, here.
I suspect that this world holds more than just the ex-JW uprooted. People migrate for all manner of reasons, and leave their roots behind.
The secret is probably contentment, and taking the time to put down new roots.
Now, where did I put that key to contentment? I know I left it around here someplace...
My entire life has been rootless. We moved so much as kids I came home once to be told I didn't live there anymore and to sit on the front step until my father came to pick me up. I was married at 18 and the move into our new home was the 18th move. I've almost doubled that since then.
As a result of the abuse and the moving and being a JW and leaving and moving half way across the country there is no one here except my hubby and we have only known each other 4 years.
It can get very lonely sometimes. Good thing we have a place like this to meet with others who are just as abandoned my family and friends
(((((((((Xena)))))))))
As you can tell you're not alone with this feeling. Life is full of struggles and you really have to make it what you want it to be. Everyday build on tomorrow, make friends for life, do the things that befit friendship and keep connected.
LOL @ SS:
If you want roots, just don't dye your hair for a few days.
The shock! The horror! Bawahahaaaaaaa!!!! I rather look like I have a halo
when my roots are growing out.
Well said LT:
The secret is probably contentment, and taking the time to put down new roots.
We all have to rebuild and start someplace. This is a good place to build on friendships.
Kate
((((Xena))))
Wasn't too long ago I was feeling exactly the same way.
#1 - You're NOT a freak - you are a warm, attractive, funny beautiful human being, with a great sense of justice & intelligence. You COULD fit in anywhere you wanted too!
#2 - while you've lost your roots, this is almost a blessing in disguise. This gives you the opportunity to establish new roots wherever you choose. We don't get to choose our biological families, nor the manner in which we are raised. But, with those no longer being the guide, who you allow into your life and make your own family is all your choosing.
I too have very few "close" friends, but I'm slowly allowing more into my world, and making my own family. Sure, some people think I'm weird, and they don't understand me persee, but I know longer care about that. My family does understand me, they love me unconditionally and they are there for me (and vice versa). It just happens to be that I'm not actually related to any of them
Love ya!!!
Your "sis" (or I'll be a cousin!)
Rhonda
I know what you mean Jo, I wonder sometimes if I ever re-marry who will be sitting on my side of the chapel. I had a friend in town I wanted my sister to meet....he was someone special to me you know...and I wanted him to meet my sister cause well ...she is a part of ME, (who else knows all the crazy kid stories about you???) but of course she refused to meet him. What did I expect, right? She barely talks to me....hope springs eternal I guess.
And it feels like I am just meant to be a loner.
Yea I have that feeling too....and most of the time I really don't mind all that much. lol I like myself even if no one else likes me and I am pretty good company most of the time....but every now and then it gets kinda lonely. Welcome to my pity party huh? Grab a tissues and lets get weepy together shall we????
If you want roots, just don't dye your hair for a few days.
hhhmmm just what are we implying there?????? Mock my pain will you
LT I know other people have no sense of roots....I guess it was more than that..it was just a feeling of isolation. Sometimes it's like standing outside a window and looking in at other people leading normal happy lives and wishing that for myself and wondering when it will be my turn......baby steps I guess huh?
This community is a wonderful place, without it I would most likely be curled in my bed in the fetal position sobbing, now I at least can crawl to my computer and find some solace for my pain.
It means more than you know.
This is hard...I know, but slowly you learn to make new friends not just people that automatically accept you because you are a JW. Have you ever thought about how we as EX-JW's all seem to have limited social skills. There is a reason. We never had to develope them. It was assumed that they knew us and our mindset. Which they did. How can you not know 6 million people that are all brainwashed the same way. We knew what was approprate and not. Now we have to try to be a friend. non judgemental and also learn about ourselves...Find what we like. Not just what we have been told all our lives that we are supposed to like.
That is SO true! It is difficult to go from having "automatic" friends to actually having to earn them. I am still learning what exactly it means to be a friend to someone....lol "worldly" people tend to expect a bit more from their friends don't they??
lol Rhonda are you SURE I'm not a freak???
but I'm slowly allowing more into my world,
That's me too....I have always had difficulty in letting people get close to me for various reasons. I use humor to keep people at a distance, you tend to get hurt a lot less that way. But slowly I am opening up to a few people, letting them in....it's scary though isn't it?
BTW I think when you become a "Brummie's Bitch" that automatically makes you sisters doesn't it????
It was dumb of me to say that. It had no real meaning. Sorrry.
SS
Don't be sorry SS it was cute....I was just teasing you back
You made me smile...and I needed that!
I really think that if it wasn't for this forum, I'd still be wandering around rootless.
What you all have shared here broke down my barrier that I was alone in my feelings.
The next step has been to expand my personal contacts, especially with my fellow JWDers.
If any of you would like to chat, send a p/m...
Craig & Kate
Xena,
Boy, can I relate to what you and everybody said. In too many ways. At work related social events, when inviting workmates over to watch a game, going back to my high school reunion. Just about everywhere I turn.
Being a man, I think it's easier to deal with. Men tend to be cave dwellers anyway and not the social creatures that women are. It's easier for me (us) to have that "go to hell feeling" when people mistreat us. Even so, it can still hurt sometimes.
I've just committed to seeing to it that my daughter won't have to go through what I have - wasting 30 years of her life. I could be wrong, but I think it's okay to sacrifice one's life if the payoff is happy and well balanced kids. That's what I'm shooting for, anyway.
(((((sexy Xena)))))
