Closer/death/Funerals

by Leela1 40 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Lieu

  Narcissists are incapable of love. Write a short note and include a family photo - tagline..."You missed all of this".

  Go enjoy the day with your kids.
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  smiddy

  I totally agree with steve2`s comments

  smiddy
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  freddo

  Leela1 - I endorse what "Wing Commander" said.

  Imagine if "THAT MAN" had joined the Nazi party - he'd have started like Irma Grise and ended like Heydrich - ending up like either of them would be a good end for him.

  Actually Lieu has the best suggestion!

  Edited to add: Steve 2 is "on the money" of course - being an x-jw and a prufeshnial an'all!
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  tiki

  This is one of the saddest stories. It seems to me that he could have been just about any religion and would have been a cold uncaring bigot. Witnessdom and elder glory trip only exacerbated a basic aberration in the man. If I were in this situation I would not attempt to see the man or dredge up painful memories in any way. If child protective services had known of that abusive family situation chances are youd have been pulled from the home and hed have been in some serious trouble. You do not treat your teenagers like the family dog minus the petting and lovey stuff. The man is sick and he can only make you remember too much. Don't reach for the poison.
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  jamiebowers

  Please read and re-read what Steve2 had to say. Your family rejected you years ago and continue to do so by their silence about your father's illness.

  On a personal note, I've had limited phone contact relating to necessary family medical history with my mother who has shunned me for 27 years. She took the opportunity during one of these brief few moments to defend her husband for attempting to rape me when I was 12 years old.

  My mother now has cancer and is rejecting medically advised treatment. And, no, I will not attend her funeral when the time comes, because she is a stranger to me.

  No good can come from communicating with cult members. They are manipulative predators, who if permitted, will use your kids as the next generation of victims. Write a letter to your father if it makes you feel better. But for the love of all that is holy, stay away from these twisted people.
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  ToesUp

  So sorry you had to grow up this way. I would love to just hug the stuffing out of you. You have been through a lot.

  I have to agree with Wing commander on this one. I'd piss on the mans grave. He wasn't your father he was an animal. Who does this to their child? I can assure you, not a normal person.

  I know this sounds harsh but, he has not asked to see his own child before he dies. He doesn't deserve to see you, you are too good for him.

  You sound like you have it all together now. Raise your family and enjoy what YOU have now. Your father is just a sperm donor. Nothing more.

  Be very proud of how far you have come. YOU did it on your own.

  Hugs to you.
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  Stirred

  Welcome and thank you for sharing. Your story is so painful to read. I wish the psychiatrist or family you moved in with had told child protective services about your parents so that you and your siblings could have been better protected.i have had to learn later in life that it is hard to see a person may have true psychiatric issues who is so close to you. My brother is the cruel one in my history. Since letting him bck in my life for a short time he caused harm to me again and my kids....affecting us emotionally, financially (huge), psychologically...

  
  Read here about Narcissists: http://www.decision-making-confidence.com/symptoms-of-narcissism.html

  
  Read here about Sociopaths: http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html

  That said, you could send a video message, you could send a recorded message to your parents. I agree sending your parents separate messages is a good thing. Perhaps send a letter with picture of your kids to her.
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  Morning Warship

  testing
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  just fine

  I am so sorry you had to go through this. I wouldn't set myself up to be hurt by them.

  The family members I have that shun me will be welcome back by me when they want to act like a normal human being.

  Your family's treatment of you has been their choice, do not take responsibility for their bad actions.
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  NeverKnew

  I am absolutely mortified by his selfish behavior. My heart is broken thinking about your wandering in the world by yourself. A post I read recently described the WTS as the institution that makes weapons out of your very own family. I totally agree.

  Nonetheless, it sounds like your Dad was insanely cruel to you and I can't help but blame the WTS. I can't see how everybody failed to recognize this for what it was - mental and emotional abuse.

  I'm so very proud of what you've accomplished in spite of your upbringing.

  On forgiveness, typically I am able to forgive once I have something to which I can attach the behavior. In this case it'd be the WTS. If you've truly forgiven? I'd say go tell him with your head held high, "I've come to say goodbye to you and to let you know I've forgiven you Good luck to you, Dad."

  For me, that'd be it. I wouldn't do the funeral.