Helped with fathers funeral, helped with arranging care for my mother - then SHUNNED again!!

by EssexBoy1 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • EssexBoy1
    EssexBoy1

    Well I have not been on this site for ages - so long that I had forgotten my username etc and have had to start again!

    Anyway briefly - bought up in 'the truth', baptised at 18, married at 21, had kids, got divorced, remarried, disfellowshipped 15 years ago.

    Parents and brother shun me.

    Early last year father very ill, calls me. I arrange to visit him in hospital. Pleased to see me. Comes through his operation, returns home. Agrees that I can come and visit at home, although then got more unwell and died without me seeing him again.

    Went to sort out funeral arrangements, went to funeral with my daughter. Wasn't allowed in KH for the after funeral get together.

    Mum falls at home, ends up in hospital, diagnosed with dementia - staff will not allow her back to her home, so brother and I arrange a care home for her, in Essex as she wanted to be 'near her boys' (my brother and I both live in Essex, Mum was living near Eastbourne).

    Regularly (most weeks) go to see Mum in the care home, often with my daughter (her grand-daughter).

    Told tonight by my brother that things will have to return to how they were before Dad passed away - in other words no visits to Mum, no giving lifts to my brother or his wife. Totally cut off - again!

    To be honest, it suits me fine in a way, but I get the feeling I've been used over the past year and a half to suit their needs but not to worry!

    I said to my brother after he told me that I had heard about the JW's getting strict again re contact with disfellowshipped ones and that I had learnt of a 93 year old lady in America who had been a staunch JW for over 50 years but left due to the child molestation issue - now her grand-daughter will not even speak to her! My brother said that he wants to be loyal to Jehovah.

    I said, that is fantastic, well done, have a good life. Goodbye!

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Well when your mum passes I hope you inherit everything and your brother gets nothing. It would be some kind of justice.

  • ShirleyW
    ShirleyW

    YOur brother can't keep you from visiting your mother, what I would do to spite him would try to figure out what time he visits your mom and try to get there first and see what he does. You're not a violent person and causing her any harm when you visit, so if your brother complains to the staff you can't visit him because of "religious reasons" they should call the psych unit at the hospital and/or keep an eye on him when he comes for his visits.

  • EssexBoy1
    EssexBoy1
    Well that isn't gonna happen as both Mummy and Daddy's will states that everything goes to WBTS!! However I did manage to get a small (and I mean small) amount after the sale of her house - it had to be sold to pay for he nursing care. I now of course hope that she lives long enough to use every penny up from the sale of her house so that none go to the JW's
  • EssexBoy1
    EssexBoy1

    That is true, ShirleyW but Mum is staunch JW too and does sometimes ask me which Kingdom Hall I go to etc

    forgetting that I have been disfellowshipped yonks ago! In the 14 years before my father passed away she never contacted me once so we now go back to that situation.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    hello essex boy--welcome back to the site.

    heres a link to others of us in the UK;

    https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/197364/ex-jw-uk?page=1&size=20

  • EssexBoy1
    EssexBoy1

    Thank you Stan. I seem to remember a few of the usernames....

    I know Besty, in fact we are meeting on Sunday for lunch!

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    EssexBoy1

    I am sorry of the abuse you have had to deal with. How hurtful!

    You ended it well. I would have added a few more choice words that I can not say on this forum.

    Enjoy your freedom. I hate this cult!

  • EssexBoy1
    EssexBoy1

    Thanks ToesUp! Yes I certainly felt like using lots of choice words and letting rip but a strange calm came over me and I humoured him really. Such a sad state of affairs...I will now let them enjoy their cult status!

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    I'm sure your brother and the "loving shepherds" won't mind paying for all of her health care, as well as wiping her behind as she become more infirm?

    Can't you just feel the Christ-like Love oooozing from these creatures? *GAG*

    I am sorry your family is entrenched in this cult, but happy that you and your children are free!

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