Coming to terms with the Watchtower experience

by Lee Elder 36 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Lee Elder

  It is a challenge coming to terms with your experience as a Jehovah's Witness. If you were born and raised as a JW, and your parents were true believers, the impact on your life is profound, lasting, and largely negative. In some cases quite abusive emotionally, spiritually, financially, educationally and yes, even sexually.

  I recently watched "Trumbo", and was quite moved by Dalton Trumbo's speech to the Screen Writers guild in 1970. Here is an excerpt that I think is quite relevant to this topic:

  "When you .... look back with curiosity on that dark time, as I think occasionally you should, it will do no good to search for villains or heroes or saints or devils because there were none; there were only victims. Some suffered less than others, some grew and some diminished, but in the final tally we were all victims because almost without exception each of us felt compelled to say things he did not want to say, to do things that he did not want to do, to deliver and receive wounds he truly did not want to exchange. That is why none of us - right, left, or centre - emerged from that long nightmare without sin."

  It reminded me of Ray Franz comments on the "organization" and how there are simply victims of victims. As much as I am tempted to feel anger and resentment for the leaders of the Watchtower, they too are victims. They may not realize that, but it is nonetheless the truth. The monster, if you want to call it that, is the Watchtower Society. At least that is the way I see it, and come to terms with my experience. How about you?
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  Alive!

  "Some suffered less than others, some grew and some diminished, but in the final tally we were all victims because almost without exception each of us felt compelled to say things he did not want to say, to do things that he did not want to do, to deliver and receive wounds he truly did not want to exchange. That is why none of us - right, left, or centre - emerged from that long nightmare without sin."

  I needed to read this - I sometimes feel a complete fraud, because I enjoyed so many benefits, I had some fantastic experinces, whilst knowing many others were left at the side.....I at least backed those who I could back - but when all of the above became so obvious - I was done. And it's not been pretty.

  I know, at my rawest gut level - the culture was wrong.....
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  Dunedain

  I truly believe, that none of us ever really come to complete terms with the BORG. It takes many years to come to certain realizations. All of us heal, and come to terms at different rates.

  I feel we are always going to be dealing with the emotions, feelings, hurts, and scars that the WTS has caused. Many of us have had completely different experiences from each other. Yes, I believe ALL of us have a measure of unity, by being ex JW's, and even current JW's, since we all were, and or are, in the same cult.

  The cult has hurt all of us in different ways, but most of us are "united", at a minimum, by at least some measure of hurt. Some were victims of horrible child abuse, others lost loved ones from lack of blood, many lives were ruined financially, or families simply broken apart from shunning, and many, many other wounds exist from this parasitic organization.

  Coming to terms with this kind of stuff, is usually, a life long journey. Myself, I am still on it, and still coming to terms with being a "born in", and having a ruined childhood due to many reasons, and I have been away from the BORG for over 20 years. Then there is the "head trip" of is this the "truth", and if I am not following it, I must be doomed.

  If I was asked if I came to terms with things 10 or 15 years ago, I would have said yes, I have come to terms that I will be destroyed at Armagheddon. Now if you ask me, if I have come to terms with it, I would say, yes that I have come to terms that the WTS is a bunch of liars, and THEY will be destroyed before Armagheddon, lol.

  Its a constant journey, and one that we all will constantly be coming to terms with, until whatever end we all face ...
  
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  Ucantnome

  Some ate the bread and drank the wine
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  smiddy

  Lee Elder

  I would agree with all your comments except for the statement that the leaders are victims also , The leaders ARE the Watchtower Society.

  And they bloody well know they are not being led by GOD , Jehovah , Jesus Christ , Holy Spirit , or anybody else.

  It is well past time when they should come clean and admit they are just another man made religion that started off with good intentions but lost their way, for one reason or another .

  smiddy
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  talesin

  Lee Elder
  I would agree with all your comments except for the statement that the leaders are victims also , The leaders ARE the Watchtower Society.
  And they bloody well know they are not being led by GOD , Jehovah , Jesus Christ , Holy Spirit , or anybody else.
  It is well past time when they should come clean and admit they are just another man made religion that started off with good intentions but lost their way, for one reason or another .
  smiddy

  Agreed. I remember hearing Franz and Knorr at assemblies. Sheeple these men were not. ugh.
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  GoneAwol

  Agreed Talesin, the gb are expending a LOT of energy lying. eg:

  At the ARC, making sure they don't turn up for court cases, lying on jw.borg to its followers, all to cover up child abuse.

  And I don't think the religion was started with good intentions either. Miracle wheat anyone? It has always been a money making scam right from the get go.

  Victims they are not.They are the perpetrators. Victims should be angry.
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  punkofnice

  I was raised in the watchtower cult. When I became an elder, I saw the dark side of the whole thing. It became obvious I had been conned and enslaved by greedy, gluttonous and abusive cult leaders.

  If a nobody like me could see the corporation for the scam it is at elder level, how much more so can the GB see it for what it is.

  No excuses; those b@stards KNOW what they're doing. They are not deluded or mislead, they are greedy, powerlifting, money loving, rock star status loving, peadophile sympathising filth.

  No excuses!
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  mrquik

  I cut the GB no slack. They, like every other manmade religion, know the damage they do. They know the suffering & pain caused by their actions. They fall in the same category as the Scribes & Pharisees. They have knowingly pissed off God directly like every other religious leader. I think that would be a bad thing.....
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  tiki

  Interesting about Trumbo...I recently watched the movie and was completely mesmerized. Although I grew up in that era being a witness kid I had no idea of what was going on in the real world. The movie and the assumptions and the accusations actually made me draw a mental parallel with the witness culture where suspicion reigns supreme and someone is always assuming someone is guilty of something they aren't and trying to get the goods on them. I always thought that if someone wanted to be a witness it was because they wanted truth and goodness and righteousness so why assume they want evil secretly....naive yes....I was a victim untiI I broke loose.

  But yes...I appreciate your observation and relate with it.