We're OCD about our PTSD.
Why do ex-JW's talk so much about being ex-JW's?
by Sour Grapes 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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LisaRose
A very small percentage of ex JWs ever post on message boards like this. Of those who do, most come here, post for a while, then move on with their lives. A few stick around for various reasons, maybe they are still pissed off, maybe not, you really can't make generalizations.
Yet it is different than being an ex catholic, because the Catholic religion is not a cult and generally does not damage people in the way that this religion does, since they were not controlled to the same extent as members and are not shunned when they left.
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Sail Away
Maybe it's a generational thing? Both of our born-in, baptized adult children (Millennials) walked away and never looked back.
Mr. Sail Away posts on reddit. He and I both lived through the 1975 fiasco, the Malawi persecution scam, were denied college educations and believed we had to conform to restrictive bedroom rules for couples, dating and married. Also, my husband was shunned for nearly 50 years by his JW parents until very recently when the local elders demanded that he, their only son, step up and take care of his aging parents.
We paid for our daughter's college education, even though I was still in, because I didn't want her to limit her potential.
Our son suffered tremendously and was DF'd. I refused to shun him and walked away. It took him about 10 years, and he is so much better now, but that is his story to tell someday, or not.
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LongHairGal
Even though I am a long time fader who has moved on for the most part, I like to post on here. I wasn’t a born in but came in in my 20s. If people ask me, I say I was raised Roman Catholic but spent some time with the Witnesses.
There are many people leaving the JW religion now and they come here. This is all new to them. So, even if we have hashed it out a hundred times, they are just getting up the courage to speak up! This is the best time to be posting because we will have the largest audience I think.
I also like to post because I was a single working woman in the JW religion and had a hard time of it. I don’t get the impression that there are all that many posters like myself. So, therefore I am loud and vocal about the JW religion’s attitude towards women, responsible working people, the damage from their no college/career stand and how I’m glad I ignored their garbage.
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charonsdog
In my personal case, I made the decision to leave in 2013. I separated from my wife, moved into the city and attended a different congregation for a bit. I faded pretty quickly after. In 2014 I met a young woman and we began to date. I knew I needed to ask for a divorce, so I did. When the ex asked if she had grounds to remarry, I decided that I was sick and tired of lying about who I really was, so I told her the truth. I was subsequently DF'd (for the second time) at some point. Nobody told me, except my daughter who said there was an announcement. So, after 45 years, I had no social contacts to show for it anymore. No family, no friends prior to 2014.
I love my life now, and I was never really tempted to talk to you dirty apostates before. I didn't need to hear your horrible stories about the organization. But I continued to have difficulty explaining to my new friends why I don't have a college degree, why I don't have many of the "normal" experiences they have. I have only very recently begun to speak of my previous life openly. I used the word "cult" for the first time last month. Turning your back on your entire life is not easy. And it's almost impossible for someone who has not had that experience to understand.
I came upon this site in a roundabout way, starting with a website on poetry which let to another couple of places before here. I lurked for about a week, and found that your experiences resonated with me. It's a bit cathartic to be able to express myself to those who understand, who went through the same things.
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eyeuse2badub
Sour Grapes
Years after not stepping inside a Kingdom Hell, many of us still have to talk about being ex-JW's. Were we so damaged that we just can't help ourselves or is it because we lost so many years of our lives that we are still pissed off about it?
Same reason that 80 later Nazi concentration camp survivors still talk about their experience!
just saying!
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mikeflood
I think as a ex - JW , people in this forum are a little more interested in religious things besides 'the believe it or not', kinda sort of JW 'aficionados'. And yes, I think there are people here that would go back to the Borg happyl if they make a lot of changes to become mainstream. Of course I've seen people in this forum just say 'sayonara' and moving on. Happy good year.
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zophar
charonsdog
I have enjoyed reading your posts. Glad you decided to join the group. It sounds like you have moved on and made a life for yourself.
You are obviously a thinking person who never lost that ability even when in the Org. Thinking people who serve as elders and have a sense of humor are loved by many in the congregation but are constantly counseled by other elders who don't know how to have an independent thought!
Welcome aboard the "The Dirty Apostate" Ship of Free-thinkers
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JaniceA
This is safe place for many of us to fly our freak flag of being an ex JW. No one else can really understand. I rarely mention it in everyday life. It's a source of shame that I ever accepted the crap, even as a child.