Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her? (page 3)

westiebilly11

Do the right thing. Be true to yourself. Remember that you have to live with yourself. Blood is thicker than water...Be kind.

XANTHIPPE- I would send your sister a text message telling her you are concerned for her health and very sorry to hear she has had a heart attack- perhaps adding if there is anything you can do that you are there.

Here's the thing- your sister or her JW relatives might not appreciate your caring thoughts- but you will look back with NO REGRETS and feel better about yourself showing real human empathy and caring. Your conscience will be clear and you'll be able to sleep good at night- knowing YOU did the right thing- no matter what your JW family does.

How they respond to your message isn't the important thing- how you respond to your sister's heart attack by showing care IS the important thing as it shows them that you are mature enough to rise above the JW family differences. This is how I dealt with my older elder JW dad in his final 6 months who I was not that close to, just called to see how he was doing, no drama- just show a caring attitude. Don't let them entrap you into JW debates- it's not important when life and death issues are at stake. My 2 cents here, I'm sorry about your sister, hang in there, sincerely, Flipper

Ding

Here's the thing- your sister or her JW relatives might not appreciate your caring thoughts- but you will look back with NO REGRETS and feel better about yourself showing real human empathy and caring. Your conscience will be clear and you'll be able to sleep good at night- knowing YOU did the right thing- no matter what your JW family does.

I think this comment by Flipper really nails the best way to handle their rejection.

Shunning is the WT's way, not yours.

You can't control how they respond, but you can control what you do.

flipper

DING- Exactly. I agree.

rebel8

I totally agree with slimboyfat and that is exactly what I do with my relatives and former friends. I contact them if I want to.

You have to understand this in the context of how The Borg treated me, worse than an animal. I have taught myself that I am equally as valuable as other humans and I now act accordingly.

Rule #1: This rule applies to the majority, who been horrible to me. What would it say about my self image if I were to seek a relationship with people who have proven to be bad to me? So they are completely off my list of people I waste my breath on.

Rule #2: This rule also applies to The Horribles. They have made it clear what type of relationship they want to have with me. I will not stoop to chasing after them.

Rule #3: This rule applies to those who have not yet met any criteria to be included in The Horribles Club. They were nice and lost contact with me for various reasons that people lose contact with each other. To them, I have reached out. Most of those don't respond when I reach out, so I follow Rule #2.

YMMV

ShirleyW

I agree with those who say you should send the text, but sometimes their hearts and minds are sooooooo brainwashed she just might look at it like a Spam email and quickly disregard, which is terrible, plus you say she hasn't been exactly too friendly to you these past few years.

Just go with your heart which is in the right place and send a quick get well soon message.

scotsman

I wouldn’t text, it invites a response or at least opens you to rejection.

Send her a card, saying how sorry you were to hear she was ill. Get well cards don’t necessarily result in replies but would certainly show you care.

when I learned my Aunt was dying of cancer last year I wrote to her with memories of the great times we’d had together. She’d cut me out her life 10 yrs ago but I learned that she loved the letter. I never got a reply, but that wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted her to know she had done some lovely things for me as a child that I’d greatly appreciated.

Muddy Waters

Love the replies and responses.... you need to do what you think is best and I like the idea of coming from a place of compassion and kindness, and looking back with no regret ...

They are brainwashed, and caught up in a clever propagandic scheme of which they have no clue.... protect yourself, but I also believe that compassion and kindness ultimately outweigh and trump their dark, gloomy, sheltered, fearful, and isolationist viewpoints whether they recognize it or not.

Finkelstein

We've met at funerals, or arranged them, but I just thought today what if she did die?

I would evaluate and measure whether or not she would contact you if you were in her medical position.

Jws who choose to separate themselves from their own family I have little empathy or compassion.

They choose the life they lead, the responsibility dissolving relationships lies toward them.

Xanthippe

Giordano, CoCo, westiebilly, flipper and ding, thanks for your thoughts. I have always believed it would be a better world if only everyone just looked after their own family. Unfortunately with the JW cult mindset that whole dynamic changes, I wish it wasn't so hard. Doing what was right for me and my daughter I hoped was right for them too. I tried to make them see that I did nothing wrong by leaving my religion and therefore would not except their treatment as punishment.

Rebel8 I hear you. I've done the same as you, stopped chasing a relationship with them. You have to protect yourself against abusive people in this world, I totally agree.

Shirley just go with my heart, I like that.

Scotsman thanks for your experience and advice.

Muddy Waters it's good to come from a place of compassion and have no regrets I agree, thank you.

Myelaine we haven't spoken on the phone for nine years, I don't want to put myself through the stress of that, but thanks for your reply.

Thanks Fink, I've got a lot to think about now.

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

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