Don't over-think it. Of course express your best wishes that she recovers. Maybe one day you will get your sister back maybe not. Either way you win.
Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?
by Xanthippe 63 Replies latest jw friends
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Xanthippe
Thanks everyone, I sent a text about an hour ago. I decided to be a normal caring sister and not play by their rules. Whatever happens happens. After all this time out I can take it. Thanks for all your help.
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steve2
Well, "trying to be seen as caring" would be wrong.
jp1692, I should have been more careful in my phrasing. Of course it is absolutely natural to care for our loved ones - even in the face of their shunning. After all they are 'under orders' and we are not.
Here's what I meant:
Sometimes we will go out of our way to sensitively express our concern, regard and/or love - and there is nothing forced or insincere about that. That said, we could also increase our vulnerability in return to still-in JWs indifference and negativity towards us. In that regard, we need to weigh up how we will react or feel if we reach out in sincerity and our approach is rebuffed. I acknowledge not everyone will see in that way.
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Xanthippe
That said, we could also increase our vulnerability in return to still-in JWs indifference and negativity towards us. In that regard, we need to weigh up how we will react or feel if we reach out in sincerity and our approach is rebuffed. - Steve2
Well of course! That's what this whole thread has been about! I have been weighing everything up and trying not to increase the pain I have already received whilst wanting to reach out in sincerity. All I got from you was, don't act like you're morally better than your sister.
Talk about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs. I've been thinking recently about having more councelling but honestly if this is all therapists have to offer I think I'll keep my £50 an hour. The guys on here, with no professional training have helped me enormously.
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Xanthippe
Thought I would share an update with you. Amazingly my sister replied to my text the same day and said she hadn't had a heart attack but had suspected angina. She said she was going to the hospital on February 1st for tests and would let me know the results.
To be honest I thought that's the last I would hear from her as she's just answering my text because she knows I must have got her number from our cousin and she wants to stay in with her.
But she texted me on 1st Feb. and said she was just home from the hospital. The tests show there is no damage to the heart muscle which is good but the symptoms suggest narrowing of an artery somewhere which is not good. She will need an angiogram to confirm and meanwhile is on meds.
So that was a big surprise and the two kisses at the end of the text an even greater on! She even asked how I was. This is more contact than we've had in years. I don't hold out hope for a relationship, too much water, and shunning under the bridge for that. At least I reached out as a caring human being, which was genuinely felt (Steve2) and got a human response. Plus she can text if she ever has doubts about the cult. Well you never know! Thanks for all those who suggested I reach out to her.
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Ruby456
that's good news xanth.
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cofty
Good outcome, thanks for the update.
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flipper
XANTHIPPE- Thanks for your update. I'm so glad that your sisters response went better than you could have expected . It brought tears to my eyes because I found out yesterday that my older JW sister who shunned me for years is going through the same thing your sister is. I chatted with her as she finally answered the phone . We just never know what might shock a JW relative to their senses and cause them to be nicer to us or at least less vitriolic in the past. Stay tuned for my thread this morning on another thread. You handled this beautifully my friend. You've opened up a door of communication with your sister. That's huge ! Hang in there, take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper -
Tara N Seals
Very good outcome, Socrates' wife.
You did good.
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cha ching
Good for you, Xanthippe! Your sister will find your love hard to forget, you reached out FIRST!