How to Fade - The Basics!

by The Searcher 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • pearlsister
    pearlsister
    The Searcher, your advice works.. thank you for sharing

    I did applied on my personal fade most of what you share here

    Elders have showed up on my door. They have send me messages on my phone, some how they got my wassap n# and they kept sending me msges..I ignored them all...I did not say a word.

    Sisters left "presents" on my door with "missing you notes" ..etc ...

    Just ignored them all..

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    This is very good advice. I wish I had followed it.

    I played the game well for a few years but in the end they got me. Now I am marked as bad association which is not much different from DFing.

    Repeat any/all of the above to anyone who tries to extract information from you, because the elders will likely get someone you trust to try and get information out of you!

    That's what they did to me and I fell for it.

  • Lee Elder
    Lee Elder

    Good advice for sure. Would just add another twist that can be used. If you get into a spat with someone in the congregation, you can always play the "stumbled card". Leave, move to a new hall - preferably 15-20 miles away. Attend briefly, then decide you need to care for personal matters, etc. They will not be inclined to make shepherding calls when they have to drive that far.

  • Landy
    Landy
    Good advice for sure. Would just add another twist that can be used. If you get into a spat with someone in the congregation, you can always play the "stumbled card"

    Sneaky. I like it.

  • KiddingMe
    KiddingMe

    Great advice. I also like the idea of playing the stumbled card and switching to a nearby hall.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    This is one of the best threads and opening posts ever on this board !

    It should be a must read for every person that ever signs up here. Perhaps it could be a "sticky thread" that stays at the top of every latest / hottest topic section?

    Can that be arranged Simon?

  • Confusedandangry
    Confusedandangry

    Thank you for sharing all these tips. Lucky for me I have moved about 8 times the last 10 yrs, I don't even know where my ' publisher card' is. 😬 The hardest thing 4 me is keeping up the facade for my poor blinded active parents who mean well. Oh and now I have to try & act 'normal' for my husband as well..

  • zeb
    zeb

    "missing you notes" ..etc

    Occasionally I bump into etc recently did and the sr says

    "haven't seen you in ages". And she meant well enough.

    "well I live in the same house". and I meant well too.

  • Irish Dame
    Irish Dame

    These are very good suggestions and reminders. An elder called me last year in spring and I let it go to voice mail. He said he and another elder wanted to visit/talk to me. I ignored. A week later, same elder left another message saying same thing. Again, I ignored.

    One Sunday last month a different elder left a voice mail telling me the title and name of speaker that day and he hoped to see me. Again, I ignored. I haven't heard anything since. I've been fading for 2 years, not been in kh since memorial 2015. Ignoring them or saying something similar to the suggestions in this thread is good advice.

    Fading is scary at first, but the elders will get busy with other people/things and this corporation has no power over us!


  • blondie
    blondie

    I've said this too in the past on this board when I left. Don't engage them in conversation or try and set them straight or lie. Just kept it my business and did not answer the phone, the door, any e-mails.

    Just say no thank and say you will call when you need help if you feel you need to answer the door. They do give up.

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