Sticks and stones along with a dirty slur.

shotgun

Since first coming out to family with doubts and subsequently the elders I have been labelled as Apostate or on the path of Apostasy.

I had never realized what a disgusting dirty word JW's make this into until it applied to me? During meetings, comments from the publications even remarks from children and so on reflect the hatred the word carries with it to them. I know a word is only as powerful as you make it but boy they have made the word Apostate huge in the minds of all dubs.

Yesterday when I got home my wife related her day with our child and how they spent it visiting another sister and her children. It was great for our daughter and encouraging for her also. I asked how so...She then relates this is actually the sisters second marriage the first one ended after ten years because her first husband had become (((Apostate))) they finally split and got divorced. How it built her up spiritually and that she has such a strong relationship with Jehovah now, he blessed her with a new mate and children also. My wife said I did not tell her my situation but it was encouraging to see another sister do the right thing and how she was blessed by Jehovah.

I wanted to ask why he became apostate...was it the false teachings or the scandals and cover-ups he couldn't accept. I didn't but felt sick to my stomach because I knew it was a subtle attack directed at me.

If love was snot this Organization would not have enough to blow its nose

Swan

It's too bad you didn't say that in a way, because now in her mind she thinks she said "something to get you to thinking."

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Tammy

jgnat

Uh, I don't think that was very subtle. Your wife is to show godly subjection, patience, and understanding. Perhaps a family bible study is in order. Quoted from "The Secret to Family Happiness", "Maintain Peace in Your Household", starting on page 128.

2 Viewpoint is one factor. If you sincerely try to understand the other person's point of view, you are more likely to discern how to preserve a united household...

8 There are many practical things you can do to affect your mate's attitude. For example, if your husband objects to your religion, do not give him valid causes for complaint in other areas. Keep the home clean. Care for your personal appearance. Be generous with expressions of love and appreciation. Instead of criticizing, be supportave. Show that you look to him for headship. Do not retaliate if you feel you have been wronged. (I Peter 2:21, 23) Make allowances for human imperfection, and if a dispute arises, humbly be the first to apologize - Ephesians 4:26.

cruzanheart

it was encouraging to see another sister do the right thing and how she was blessed by Jehovah.

Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that.

Nina

Winston Smith :>D

Sorry to hear that shotgun.

Um, yes; I'd agree that at best your wife was being subtle.

On the other side of the spectrum, to me it sounds like she's getting her game plan together. If you plan continuing in your course of being an apostate and now hating jehover, the vengeful god of the WTS, her jehover will take care of her and replace you.

'Subtle'; I don't think so. Closer to, a 'shot across the bow'.

Hang in there friend.

Winston.

Gopher

It is indeed intended to be hurtful and nasty when JW's use the word "apostate". Every "war" needs its scapegoat. Hitler had the Jews, America had the "Japs" as they called the Japanese, and so on.

The WT Society intentionally caricatures and demonizes their ex-members, especially those who don't come back due to differences in beliefs, calling all such "apostates". We are their #1 enemy these days, their greatest threat.

So almost like a crime syndicate, the WTS has gone on the offensive against the greatest threat to its continued existence. If they left us alone, then we'd be able to expose them to our friends and relatives who are nominal JW's.

As far as our own personal reaction to these "sticks and stones" -- they're really not sticks and stones but only NAMES.

Like the child's rhyme says:

Sticks and stones can break my bones

But words can never hurt me.

So we don't have to react to such slurs in the manner that the WT Society wishes. In fact I almost view it as a badge of honor to be called names by an organization so cruel as uncaring as the WT Society. I mean, if they didn't call me bad names, it'd almost be like they still liked me -- and who wants to be THEIR friend?

I'm just glad to not be "under their evil spell" any longer. And you too have broken free mentally. So if they hurl names at you, it doesn't have to matter. Just be your own best friend and be self-reassuring, and you'll be fine.

Nosferatu

Knowing me, I would have smiled and asked "So, where do I sign?"

It's a real shame what the Organization does to family ties.

Utopian Reformist

Irregardless of the doom and gloom scenarios predicting the worst possible outcome, you should restrain your thoughts and get control of your emotions.

People are very unpredictable sometimes and can surprise you in the end. Give human spirit a chance. Your wife may very well come around given enough time and patience. Don't fill your mind with negativity anymore. Just be loving if you still love her, and if you don't try to find the reasons that inspired your love in the beginning.

Don't be a quitter if at all possible and save your family. You owe it to them and yourself.

shotgun

Thanks for all the tips...I'll try your advice reformist.....

She's a real pip though...Constantly reminding the elders of my need for a study and little digs about starting my own religion...etc

I know she is scared.....I'll keep dragging my heels for awhile yet..but she seems to be getting all her ducks in a row for a quick departure. Time will tell.........................

talesin

felt sick to my stomach

you must feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time. The veiled threat of her leaving must be torturous. I have no advice, my friend, but lotsa support.

tal

Sticks and stones along with a dirty slur.

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