Funny occurrences

by Freedom rocks 22 Replies latest social entertainment

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  Freedom rocks

  What were some funny experiences you had of things that happened during talks at the meetings?

  A few of mine:

  - a brother had dyed his hair before his talk and it was raining heavily when he arrived at the hall and the dye was running down his face during his talk and his skin went more and more grey as the black dye ran down it. He looked ill by the end.

  - a massive spider was on the podium during an elders talk and he stepped further and further back and loudly asked his wife to come and get it away from him. He was petrified of spiders and everyone was laughing because he had to get his wife to get it.

  - a dog ran into the hall during a talk and caused chaos while all the brothers were trying to chase it out.

  - a kid being dragged out during the talk by his mother to get spanked and shouting at the top of his voice as he disappeared out of the door "and a merry Christmas to you all!!!" Most people were in stitches laughing including the speaker, it took him a while to compose himself for the rest of his talk.

  I know there's more but they'll come back to me I'm sure.
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  charonsdog

  Several.

  -When we were very young and my father had just begun attending meetings (he went before mom did), he would usually bring one or two of us with him. During the talk, my younger brother had to go to the bathroom, so my dad walked him back. Dad was very interested in hearing the talk, so he stood outside of the bathroom with his foot holding the door open, that way he could hear my brother when he was finished. Problem was, my dad is deaf in one ear. So, while he was concentrating on the talk, he didn't hear what the rest of the congregation heard. "Dad, I'm finished. Come wipe me." "DAD! I'm do-one! Come wipe my butt!"

  -Candace letting out a huge fart during the closing prayer.

  -ME letting out a rather loud fart on a wooden chair in the middle of a living room where my dad was conducting the Congregation Book Study. I was so embarrassed. An older brother was staring daggers at me from across the room while my two younger brothers were attempting to hold in their laughter. My dad was torn between laughing, correcting my brothers, and trying to keep a straight face in front of the group.

  -A future Gilead graduate from my hall using an illustration about popcorn to describe the remnant of the 144,000. He said (among other things) "Jehovah likes popcorn. Has his own special brand. Called the 'King-Priest Brand popcorn'." And the ones who were still remaining on Earth "just haven't popped yet." I had to go to the back of the hall in one of the auxiliary rooms because I was literally on the floor with tears coming out of my eyes. My belly hurt from laughing so hard.

  -A brother commenting during the WT study about "dungy idols" used a quick succession of two illustrations to show how disgusting they were. He had us imagine walking barefoot through the yard and stepping in dog shit, and it squishing through our toes. As bad as that was....he went further. He said it was like when your fingers push through the paper....

  I have many more. Forty years of attending meetings will collect a lot of events.
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  scruffmcbuff

  - our hall got invaded by some lads throwing flower around the hall

  -reference my thread on the swearing elder

  -we had a cat fall through a suspended ceiling at our old hall
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  StephaneLaliberte

  One of my friends was 13 and had to give a no.4 talk about masturbation!
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  steve2

  The funniest experience I had was listening to prayers and believing an invisible being was actually listening.
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  neat blue dog

  This man Steve was giving a talk about Jesus gaining immortality, but said he got "immorality" in the heavens.

  Another guy named Tony compared the dead at Armageddon to split open roasted hot dogs, and another time preached against wild socks and tight pants, saying they were a gay conspiracy.

  Then there was a dude named Sam who insisted that women were objectively less intelligent than men, and he could prove it by the size of their brains.

  Then there was old Joe who nobody liked but everybody feared. He insisted that some Bible characters were bound to show up on the doorstep any week now, but nobody had the balls to call him out.
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  Simon

  Large sister in our hall bent down to pick up some book and did a really loud cartoon fart that reverberated thanks to the hard plastic chairs and tiled floor we had.

  Quick thinking dad decided to provide cover by pinning the blame on one of the kids. He slapped him round the head saying "don't do that again!"

  Kid of course wasn't having it and was saying "but it was MUM !" which got louder and louder as dad kept slapping him trying to shut him up.

  Hard to keep a straight face which is probably why so many utterly failed.

  ----

  In the same hall, on a hot night one summer, the windows were open to let some air in and the lights attracted crane flies / daddy-long-legs which were flying about and swooping down into the audience at odd points. Half the people were watching for the next attack including my sister and her friend in front of me. They were still looking about nervously during the prayer so I thought it would be funny to touch the back of their heads with my finger.

  I had no idea just how loud someone would be willing to scream in the middle of a prayer.

  So there I am, trying to put my best "innocent" face on instead of laughing while everyone is turned round to look at them and they turned round to look at me.
  
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  Freedom rocks

  We had a sister go to answer and she burped so loudly into the microphone which obviously made it even louder and everyone was laughing so much and the chairman kept bringing it up for the rest of the meeting whenever he could get a joke in about it
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  Freedom rocks

  A dad told his little boy to answer 'Jesus' during the watchtower study and the little boy said 'batman' instead and that had everyone laughing. The poor boy got punished though. He was only 4
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  tiki

  We had a bro of eurpean birth who in his talk instructed us to open to the book of malarkey......(malachi)