Trying To Leave - Im Going Crazy

by pale.emperor 77 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Giordano

  I really feel i need to leave the JW's rather than go along pretending everything is perfect etc. I was raised in this organization and for many years never doubted it for a second.

  Do you doubt the core beliefs or because you have been stumbled by the lack of love and/or your inability to trust your wife with even simple issues like what your reading or what songs you listen to? The fact that she was DF is troubling. Getting pregnant should not have caused her to seek counsel in a hotel room.

  Now you told us that she was DF but the way you wrote the account I am not sure if she simply met this Elder in a Hotel room to talk privately or if she had sex with him. Was he DF? And was he threatening your wife if she told you about her association with him.

  I guess what I am trying to understand is what is the status of your marriage. Do you love one another? What about her father is he still interfering in your life? Are you thinking about fading or DAing yourself?
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  DesirousOfChange

  You mentioned the Elders at the dinner table discussing everyones "private" information. There is nothing private in this organization. NOTHING! We have NEVER gone to the Elders for anything and never will. We don't trust many people anymore. DON'T TRUST THE DAMN ELDERS WITH ANYTHING!

  THAT is another issue to use to defend why you have been stumbled. And more importantly, the reason you refuse to say a damn thing to any of the elders who might speak to you. Failure to maintain confidentiality indicates that they are NOT working in harmony with the instructions of the F&DS and Christ Jesus. NO WONDER there is no blessing of the Holy Spirit on this Congregation and BOE.

  Doc
  
• 

  BluesBrother

  Welcome Pale Emperor ... so many new ones lately , we must be blessed.

  A long sad story that reflect what so many feel. What is with this beard prejudice? In my wife's congo there are 2 or 3 neat beardies , bros in good standing and well used . I thought it was o k these days
• 

  pale.emperor

  Yes the elder that had sex with her was DF'd too. He was in my sisters cong. He's older than her dad! One of those elders that's overly confident in the platform, cracking jokes, always hugging the sisters, "what a cheeky chappie he is", "ha, that's just brother XXX".

  I sat in on her judicial. More came out when they questioned her further. Swapping naked pics, swapping fantasies by txt.

  i still love her and I've never played that card. I'm above that. I hear this elder is back in his cong. Although not an elder. Back with his wife and for some reason his sons who are my age hate my guts now... what did I do???!!

  My father in law has eased off slightly. But we had a heated row a few months back when he DEMANDED to see my credit card statement. Wifey had told him £300 had mysteriously been spent. He turned up accusing me of having an affair, and I should prove him wrong. My wife stood there and let him talk like that. I refused to prove anything to him.

  The next day I showed my wife the statement. It was a surprise holiday for me and her.
• 

  ToesUp

  Tell your Father in Law to *&%$ off! Sounds like he's all up in your business. Not where he belongs. Don't give him, nor anyone else, the power over you and your family. Let them know that. Stand your ground and watch them back off. Tell them nothing and let them know they need to stay out of your business.

  This cult destroys so many families. It's disgusting!
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  Skedaddle

  Is there anyone sticking up for your side? Any family members or friends you confide in?

  Seems to me your wife needs to understand the word ''wife''. Some ground rules need laying down! I think the father needs asking the question would HE put up with what you're going through!

  Maybe the father-in-law is trying to excuse his daughters behaviour by trying to pull you down so he can tell his ''mates'' look, it was him leading her astray. Maybe he's trying to save face!

  Woah... you've done amazing to go through all that!

  What did your wife say when she found out it was a holiday?
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  Stealth

  Welcome to the forum. Hope things get better for you soon!
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  Je.suis.oisif

  Tell your father-in-law to f***off to the far side of f***, and when he gets there, f*** off some more. <<there, I feel better after that >>. I'm so angry on your behalf.

  On a more sober note. Tell him he's usurping your family headship. You and your wife need to agree some acceptable boundaries. Or you might just as well shut the door behind you on the way out sooner rather than later.
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  Finkelstein

  his sons who are my age hate my guts now... what did I do???!!

  Probably because you and your wife remind them of what an dip shit asshole their father is.

  Yes it was you and your wife's fault that their father had sex with your wife causing so much discomfort and grief in their family, resulting in their father to be Dfed and looked upon as a exploitative cad.

  This is one of the diversionary tricks you see in a lot in JWS, they never want to take responsibility for their own actions its always someone else's fault, perhaps Satan the Devil or another person.

  This story of your wife consoling to anther man be it an elder for getting pregnant is suspicious and weirdly unusual.

  Maybe that's why your FIL is putting forth the suggestion that its because of your own infidelity, that your wife sought out retribution by having sex with someone one else ?
  
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  jhine

  A warm welcome pale.emperor , what a story . Jan