Attending a same-sex wedding (page 2)

Tameria2001

In the long run, ask yourself this question, would I regret NOT going and supporting my loved one on a very important day of their life? When I was a JW, I did not go to my cousins wedding. Her wedding was in a church (the only reason my mom and I did not go). We was even in town during this time period. I too was very close to my cousin. About six months later she was killed in an auto accident, her husband did survive, but only for about a year. During that year he was alive, he was in a comma. What I'm trying to say, life is too short and too precious allow things to interfere.

Heaven

I'm just wondering if there is any evidence in the teachings that anybody knows of that supports me attending??

Look to the Bible. Are you aware of the ancient, orthodox, Jewish circumcision ritual?

Ask yourself ...what heterosexual man, other than a medical doctor for medical reasons, would willingly circumcise his adult male friend (ala Paul and Timothy)?

DesirousOfChange

I'm just wondering if there is any evidence in the teachings that anybody knows of that supports me attending?? That would make me feel so much better in attending if I can show something to my parents

Beyond basic Biblical teachings, ie, "Love your neighbor", etc, I can think of nothing that would specifically support your attendance. I'm sure your elders will be able to think of many Bible principles that can be applied to avoiding attending. (Hate what Jehovah hates. Church wedding? Get out of Babylon the Great! etc) I am not aware of any JW policy that this should lead to a Judicial Committee, but only "counsel".

You might try to balance this by asking yourself if you would attend your worldly cousin's wedding if she was marrying a person of the opposite sex? If so, then why does whom she is marrying really matter to you? . . . . Doc

Xanthippe

Sam isn't there any information about attending a nonJW relative's wedding? There used to be I remember because people wondered about attending it in a church. I thought it was a conscience matter. My mother attended weddings and funerals of nonJW relatives, most of them in churches.

Couldn't you reason with your parents if the JWs say it's a conscience matter to do that when the teachings in that church are different, when they may believe in premarital sex and may even be marrying after they already have children then why not your situation.

blondie

I went to a same-sex wedding shower schedule several months after the wedding. It's been 15 years inactive for me no meetings, never thought about it until this or topic.

Slides of the wedding played out, potluck, simple.

I remember the day if people did not have a wedding at the KH, they must have sinned sexually or worse have a baby on the way. But if they were engaged for more than a year, that was frowned upon. Some having 10 pairs of attendants, dresses that evidently the elders had never seen or the elder father had paid off the BOE.

fulltimestudent

This is controversial to those whose minds are straitjacketed by misinformation. But same-sex relationships were common in the Mediterranean culture of the Graeco-Roman empires that encompassed and included Palestine.

And, interestingly, Jesus came into contact with one of these relationships. I'll let a writer in the Huffington Post explain.

"But, some people argue, what about the fact that the only sanctioned relationship in the Bible is between a man and a woman? Well, in fact, that’s not quite the case. The story of the faithful centurion, told in Matthew 8:5-13 and Luke 7:1-10, is about a Roman centurion who comes to Jesus and begs that Jesus heal his pais, a word sometimes translated as “servant.” Jesus agrees and says he will come to the centurion’s home, but the centurion says that he does not deserve to have Jesus under his roof, and he has faith that if Jesus even utters a word of healing, the healing will be accomplished. Jesus praises the faith of the centurion, and the paisis healed. This tale illustrates the power and importance of faith, and how anyone can possess it. The centurion is not a Jew, yet he has faith in Jesus (according to the Gospel story-FTS) and is rewarded."

So what was the relationship between this centurion and his pais? The writer of the above goes on to explain.

"But pais does not mean “servant.” It means “lover.” In Thucydides, in Plutarch, in countless Greek sources, and according to leading Greek scholar Kenneth Dover,pais refers to the junior partner in a same-sex relationship. Now, this is not exactly a marriage of equals. An erastes-pais relationship generally consisted of a somewhat older man, usually a soldier between the ages of 18 and 30, and a younger adolescent, usually between the ages of 13 and 18. Sometimes that adolescent was a slave, as seems to be the case here. It would be inappropriate, in my view, to use the word “gay” to describe such a relationship; that word, and its many connotations, comes from our time, not that of Ancient Greece and Rome. This is not a relationship that any LGBT activist would want to promote today. However, it is a same-sex relationship nonetheless."

Some Bible teachers promote the erroneous view that ancient Israel and Judah were culturally isolated from the surrounding cultures. That is an unsupportable view from all the other written and archaeological evidence that we have available.

So does the above information help your decision. Well, your witness family will likely opt NOT to believe that Jesus could assist such a relationship, and of course we cannot prove definitively that the centurion and his servant had what we may call a 'same-sex relationship,' but a large body of scholars who study the era, would agree that it's a likely interpretation.

There is one other (also controversial) Biblical incident that is worth thinking about. But I'll have to post that later.

cookiemaster

Hi Sam,
My name is also Sam in the real world. I'm 23 and in a similar position to yours, being theoretically still in and having JW parents but not having attended in a long time. I was recently interrogated by two elders for having attended a worldly public event that was about harmless fun. I have to admit it made me kinda angry and I didn't talk very nicely with them. Anyway, the point is that I don't regret it. It was fun and I can't afford to live my life in fear of breaking some stupid rules.

Some advice that I can give you is that you don't to live by their rules. You can keep a low profile if you do attend, just to avoid any trouble. But if the elders do start the interrogations, you can make up whatever bullshit you think will get you off easier, even saying something you don't really mean. Not getting the family that won't attend mad at you is the hardest thing. You can say that you love your cousin so much that you don't want to break her heart by not attending.

Vanderhoven7

I fear that If you go to another church to celebrate a same-sex wedding and the elders are made aware of it, you may end up being disfellowshipped. As you are of age, your parents will then have to disown you.

smiddy

sam your 19 , baptised and living at home with your parents ? sorry to say ,but if you attended this same sex marriage ,you would definetely be hauled into the back room with the Elders and eventually DF,unless you bow down ,kiss their ass and plead ignorance in which case you might only be put on probation for a year or two .,or whatever they now call it for the next 12 months

Jehovahs Witness Elders , not all, as is evidenced by this forum , but by far , the most majority seem to glee , finding fault with their brothers and sisters and bringing them up before a JC. and either reproving them or DF them from the congregation.

Some Elders seem to see the need to validate their position as Elder , by bringing the chopping block down on their fellow brothers or sisters and disfellowshipping them from the Congregation.,and subsequent shunning that follows.

steve2

Vanderhoven7:

"I fear that If you go to another church to celebrate a same-sex wedding and the elders are made aware of it, you may end up being disfellowshipped. As you are of age, your parents will then have to disown you."

smiddy:

"sam your 19 , baptised and living at home with your parents ? sorry to say ,but if you attended this same sex marriage ,you would definetely be hauled into the back room with the Elders and eventually DF,unless you bow down ,kiss their ass and plead ignorance in which case you might only be put on probation for a year or two .,or whatever they now call it for the next 12 months"

Sam, there's wishful thinking and then there's reality. I'm afraid that Vanderhoven7 and smiddy are correct. You're hoping JW org does not explicitly forbid attendance of a same-sex wedding.

There's absolutely no way you can go to a same-sex wedding and NOT face repurcussions as a JW - inactive though you are. You will feel the full weight of your local elders, to say nothing of your parents.

I suspect you already know this - otherwise you would have asked your parents. I also suspect that, at this stage in your life, you may not be able to make a firm stand. Perhaps one day you'll look back on this and marvel at how much you've grown and how much stronger you are. But right now? Better follow the rules.

Attending a same-sex wedding

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