Greetings, Sam:
Welcome to the forum, and wishing you the best in a difficult circumstance.
While not identical to what you describe, I feel what happened to me years ago bears mentioning. A dear friend was murdered and I attended her memorial, which was held in a public building. I spoke during open mic and performed some music. Somewhat after, I was questioned by several elders and privately reproved for "using bad judgment." My family had been interrogated beforehand by the same elders.
I don't regret having been present and participating; my references to the Bible and God's remembering those who have died was well received. I absolutely could not say "no" to her family for what they asked of me. The only thing I would have done differently is not tell JWs my business.
Blessings and Peace.