DF’d or DA??? (page 2)

road to nowhere

Just walk away. Don't send a letter, don't go to a kangaroo court meeting.

Ding

I would think if you DA they would be glad to have less work to do (no JC needed).

But who knows?

Crazyguy

Data-dog , sorry if I came off as harsh, everything in this cult is complicated.

If I were you I would rather D.F them for being false witnesses nothing they have ever prophetically spoken of has ever come true.. with a DA letter before they can do it to you.In that way you have taken the power out of their hands and you have taken control of the situation for your own peace of mind.

You then have power in your own mind over them and that is a plus for your well being.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Juan Viejo2

"Road to nowhere" has it right. Just disappear. Walk away. Don't answer their calls. Don't return their mail. If they come to your home and you meet them at the door, just tell them you can't talk because you do not feel well. Don't expand on anything. Just go. Don't look back. Toss all of your collections of old magazines and books in the recycle bin. Don't watch JW videos or apostate videos for at least 6 months. Spend your spare time watching relaxing shows and documentaries on TV. Read a lot of recent best sellers and listen to your favorite music. If you are approached by a JW acquaintance politely tell them that you are not in the mood to talk to them. Clear your head. Do something that is relaxing and fun and just let your brain and body (and bank account) rest and catch up.

At the same time, remember that leaving the JWs is like leaving alcohol or drugs. JW related thoughts will linger in your head for months and create some stress. You will get through all of that soon enough. Withdrawal symptoms are your body's way of easing you down slowly. If you want to have a little mental abuse in your life, watch Trump discussions on your TV station. You can not help but slowly clear your head. Watch some good nature documentaries on cable TV. You get a whole new concept of reality watching nature and geology in action. Suddenly things will clear up. One day you will have a brief pang of regret and give it all a second thought - that's normal. But those feeling will pass when you think back about the boredom and repetition of the meetings, the inane 3rd grade reading level articles in the magazines and on JW.org. Avoid calling or talking to any of your old JW friends. They aren't interested in helping you resolve your issues - they want to shame you into returning. That's their only goal. In real life, other JWs don't give a fart about your reasons for leaving. They don't care about your feelings or motivations. They only want to shame you into returning to the cult.

Within a few months you will really begin to enjoy the freedom and clarity of thought. Yes, you may miss some of your old JW friends - but give it time and you will soon be able to recognize which of those "friends" were fond of you because they really liked you, enjoyed your company and cared about you. The rest will avoid you and try to shame you into returning so they can shame you some more.

Think FREEDOM of your mind, body, finances, and time. Those will be your rewards by leaving the cult.

JV

stan livedeath

Don't write a letter..don't attend anything. Just tell them you quit..and don't want any more to do with it. End of.

tiki

I just think playing their game on any level only says that you believe they have some hold on you. I see attending the kangaroo court or writing letters is just a waste of time and energy. Walk away...leave...drop off the key and set yourself free.

stillin

Could you use the fact that these are people whom you have known for many years work to your advantage? Be as friendly as you always have been. You wish there had been no "wrongdoing" but it happened and you don't intend to make a habit out of it. You may even see how whatever it was could impact your life for bad.

You're married, right? And your wife is all-in. How important is that to you? Will being DF'd handicap your efforts to keep your marriage alive, if that's what you want? In my own case, being kicked out would be the final straw. I don't really mind the occasional meeting, keeping some of the friendships going, etc. I don't feel obligated to share what I know about the "truth" with anybody who gets some kind of "comfort" out of their religion; I don't preach at anybody.

Maybe they will just leave you alone and let you sort things out yourself.

Sail Away

I chose to send a letter of resignation by way of my attorney. Ultimately the same effect as DF/DA, but I took control of my life. Best thing ever to be free of this cult.

DF’d or DA???

DATA-DOG