I married during the scare of '75 to a woman I figured I'd learn to love after Armageddon. Surprise, no Armageddon. I made the best of it for 34 years. I found the love of my life (not a Witness) & divorced the first wife. Knew I would get disfellowshipped but figured I be back in after a year. Thank God one of the guys on the JC had an axe to grind & dragged it out over three years. During that time I really did my research & after reading C of C I was out. Congratulations for not wasting all those years. Weigh carefully what is really important to you. Going back only to fade costs a lot of time. And as they say " Don't waste time for time is what life is made of..."
Any former elders brains I could pick?
by BarelyThere 56 Replies latest jw friends
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Nathan Natas
MrQuick, I salute you for your courage and wisdom.
Best wishes to you!
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Fisherman
Not the scriptural thing to do but the proper thing to do under the circumstances was to face your spouse and inform him of your decision to divorce and also the congregation and then get your divorce -defiantly, and after that your spouse cannot say to you that you cheated, he would have to respect you acknowledging that you cannot be forced to stay with him if you do not want him and were unhappy with him. Same consequences in terms of DF, however, DF is guaranteed doing it this way but you would have shown respect to your spouse and your marriage. Is that not the way you would have wanted it if the shoe was on the other foot? -
Wasanelder Once
Hadriel, I have seen it many, many, many times that the original committee had said "NOT YET" as they deemed it too soon because the offense was so serious and it hadn't been long enough, almost two years in one case! It wasn't my approach but that was because I was awake and not a jerk. I agree that the new JC are more lenient because it is all academic when it is new to them but more often than not they defer to the original in a big way because their ass is on the line with the CO if they ignore the 1st JC and countermand their decision. Its a big cult out there Hadriel. Were you an elder? Just curious. Don't have to be to see what happens in the congregtion but I've read the letters of NO and was on a committee where I was overruled and they responded no to a reinstatement request. -
Nathan Natas
Fisherman opined, "...the proper thing to do..."
According to WHO, my friend?
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Fisherman
According to WHO, my friend?
I agree, but if you sign a marriage contract with someone are you not bound by its terms? Is it not proper to obey the terms of the contract agreement? Adultery is legal and scriptural grounds for divorce against the offending party. And why? But if a person gets a legal divorce on legal grounds, she cannot be charged with adultery by the State, or even by her mate (legally) later on if she remarries or has sex with someone else after the divorce (the congregation can). And frankly, who would want for force a spouse to stay married to him? And when she is divorced, should not the spouse see that she respected him and the marriage. Even the congregation does not view them legally married and are not allowed to have sex should they wish to return. But if a spouse cheats on her mate during the marriage, such conduct violates the marriage agreement, and that is not the proper thing to do.
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Gefangene
My advice for you to get reinstated is to tell the elders how it is your heartfelt desire to be back in peace with Jehovah.. and thst you keep praying to him to allow you back into the cong so that you can serve him again fully and get back in peace with him. Express this as your main motivation behind your desire to be reinstated. DONT tell them you just want to have your family back as the main reason (it is your reason but no need to tell the elders this ;-). The elders may interpret it in such a way as that you lack spiritualiy (TM).
Like this you may speed up the reinstation process.
Ill keep all fingers and toes crossed for you.. xxx