confused with nowhere to turn (page 2)

joey jojo

There is no one as virtuous as a reformed whore.

Pete Zahut

He was kicked out or left, I'm not sure which, about 18 years ago and in between his had 2 kids out of wedlock by 2 women, been to jail and has battled with addiction prior to meeting me.

People who are raised as JW's and then leave while they are quite young or leave because they were disfellowshipped, often still carry around the wrong idea that JW's are the only true religion and they view themselves as wicked and or lost causes. Because of this they often go down a road of self-destructive behavior and stay on it until they either return to the JW's or they fully and completely come to realize that the religion wasn't true in the first place. In cases where they do return, it usually isn't permanent. Usually the same issues that caused them to leave in the first-place, come up again. Hopefully this takes place before they've compounded the problem by getting someone else involved such as a new JW spouse or a child.

People change and I believe in forgiveness but in view of the past issues this fellow has had in the recent past, coupled with this sudden change that has taken place, as difficult as it may be at first, I'd say you are fortunate to have had this happen now rather than later.
I don't believe God (if he exists) intervenes in our love lives, he likely has a lot more on his plate these days, but if you do think he is somehow involved, why wouldn't it be because he is trying to protect you and your children rather than to cause you heartache?

Your friend has been clean and sober for a little over a year and it's likely that because he no longer has a crutch to lean on, he has chosen a religion that makes him feel safe and left you and your children hanging. It sounds as if he ended the relationship and didn't offer you any choice in the matter.

I hope things work out for him and that you can eventually take pity on the miserable person he must be at this point. In the meantime, I'd say your instincts to put your kids first, is spot on. It's obviously too soon to hitch your wagon to someone who has had and is having the kinds of issues this man has.

All or nothing

Hello, I am sorry for your pain. What you have to understand about this jw religion is simply just because he was not practicing the jw religion for so many years, doesn't mean he doesn't have the indoctrination of it still influencing him. He is what we call POMI (physically out mentally in)

Unfortunately I'm sure he has drawn the line in the sand that he wants you to study and become a JW. A lot of jws do not fathom unconditional love. The religion demands acts of service to demonstrate devotion. So much of the jw belief system is similar to high control groups and cults. Steve Hassan has a lot of great books that discuss how to help loved ones free themselves, bottom line he has to want to mentally free himself though!

gone for good

Carla - Wow

Well stated warning and 100% verifiable.

FedUpJW

What should i do?

RUN!!! Run fast, run far, do not look back. Oh, and did I say RUN?

Under No Illusion

As much as you don't currently think this - you have had a close call and you're getting a second chance. Some pain now is a lot better than what would have come later.

Have nothing to do with anyone associated with JW in any way and your life automatically improves, or is at less risk of being ruined.

It's like you've hopped off (or been pushed off) a train at the last minute and that train unbeknownst to you was on it's way to a concentration camp.

Vanderhoven7

Sorry for your plight...but there is nothing left for you to do but to move on. Regardless of what motivated him to return to his religion, the fact is he has left you and your children. Hopefully you will eventually meet someone, with a similar faith to your own to share your life with.

gone for good

Rebecca

"...they all turned their backs on him when he was going through hard times," this is a hallmark of what fake Christians most JW families are.

Jesus was said to recommend forgiving 7 x 70 times, but in 18 years his own JW family couldn't imagine doing it even once - for a member of their own family!

JW's never forgive - ever.

They've hated him for 18 years, and they have a special brand of hate for you and your kids too.

JW men are a bizarre mixture of delusional cowards and self-righteous bullies (usually within the same person). The Watchtower builds such character.

Sorry you ever came into contact with them.

days of future passed

His whole family is JW and his mother is very sick.

This is what probably started his return. Once he contacted them again, his mother would express a wish for him to come back to Jehovah.
If he has never examined the religion and came to the realization that it isn't truthful at all, it's like a virus that has reactivated. Probably he has been living life while looking over his shoulder in fear of Armageddon. Or the other reason may be that in order for him to have time with his mom before she dies, he was willing to sacrifice you and your children. Because JW's shun as others have said. That would have meant no contact if she and the others are hard case witnesses.

Sorry that you have to be betrayed like that. The religion doesn't really care about those that follow them no matter what their literature says. It's just money that they care about.

atomant

count your lucky stars he did this now and not later if you got married.

confused with nowhere to turn

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