by worldlygirl 92 Replies latest jw friends
Worldly Girl, mostly good advice here, I see......you might wanna name the Congregation and the WT-BATS as third parties in the divorce action for alienation of affection....which goes against THEIR publicly professed doctrines.....and then sue them in civil court for damages....make it public, for sure....
Frannie B
how would he ever know if I had sex with anyone else?
JWs are good spies and are excellent at twisting the truth. If a JW sees you kiss another man, that would be an act of adultery, and your husband would have the grounds to leave or divorce you.
In the future, would he even be able to "date"?
Not if there's no dirt on you.
What about if he commits adultery?
A couple of things can happen. He could repent, and then be reproved. Or he can deny it, and there wouldn't be enough witnesses (2) to testify that he committed adultery. However, if he's found guilty and isn't repentant, he can be disfellowshipped (again!)
hi worldlygirl:
That brings up another point. Unless I remarry (not gonna happen), how would he ever know if I had sex with anyone else? I've seen the stuff about "spending the night alone with a member of the opposite sex" being grounds for this assumption, but if someone is discreet about it - then what?
If you've read this board for any amount of time, you'll have seen that sometimes a pair of elders (two eyewitnesses) will stake out a person's house to watch for any suspicious activity, for just this very purpose.
In the future, would he even be able to "date"? Doesn't he have to be free to remarry in order to date a Sister in the congregation? If he wanted to do that, would he or the elders have to contact me and ask me if I had "fornicated"? How does that work? I would never confess, but would they just assume that since I am "worldly" I am out screwing everyone?
Well, that's a bit of a sticky situation. Technically, a JW is not allowed to "date" unless he or she is interested in marriage. If he was not free to remarry, he wouldn't be able to "date" openly. If he dated someone discreetly, he would eventually have to tell his intended what the situation was, revealing himself to be a sneaky SOB who is leading an eligible sister down the garden path, so to speak. If they decided to get married, the elders would have to determine whether he was scripturally free to remarry. They might approach you and ask you if you were in a new relationship (they just assume that you'd be sleeping with the person, that's just what "worldly people" do ). They might ask you to put your statement in writing. Then, you can refer to the letter that Reubenfine's daughter wrote to elders who approached her about her sexual practices when her ex-husband rejoined the JWs and wanted to re-marry.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/44457/1.ashx
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/44710/1.ashx
What about if he commits adultery? Wouldn't I still have the opportunity to say "I forgive you"? Then he STILL wouldn't be free, right???
If you two are legally divorced but not Scripturally Divorced™, the congregation likely would not bother informing you if he committed adultery, or asking you if you forgive him. That still doesn't free him scripturally, because YOU are the innocent mate here. He would still be reproved at the very least, but most likely be disfellowshipped.
Love, Scully
WorldlyGirl
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am certain you deserve better.
You have every right to be angry, and I will not tell you otherwise.
As someone said, ''The best revenge, is to live well''
Kick his ass to the curb, and find a stud muffin, honey! lol
And Thunder, if I ever piss you off, give me a chance to apologize first, eh? LOL
Here's another suggestion, Record porn onto any Watchtower videos he may have.
Nos:
Here's another suggestion, Record porn onto any Watchtower videos he may have.
...and then give it to an elder (to pass on to him) with the outraged words "He can have his filthy porn back, too!!!"
I am amazed that he and the elders think that you are capable of endangering his spirituality. Their little house of cards must be so fragile that it can be toppled easily.
Anyway, here are my suggestions:
Gather up all of the old mags that you can find. Most Witnesses have stacks of them. Print his name and phone number inside them, along with the address of the NAMBLA (north american man boy love association) web site, or any other damaging thing you can think of. Distribute them to local laundromats and waiting rooms.
Insert a note into an old mag saying (help, I am trapped in a cult - call police immediately). Leave the mag in a stranger's mailbox.
Type up a short note, indicating that JWs are forcing you to go from door to door. Sign his name and place it in a mag. Distribute.
Get a hold of all of the JW e-mail addresses that you can find and sign them up on as many porn web sites as you can. The spam will never stop.
Write a heartfelt letter to the Watchtower society, indicating that you have serious doubts, and hinting at hidden sins. Sign his name.
me too
Personally I do not know if you have children with this weak male, but if you do the most important thing is custody of these kids. His conduct is appalling!!!! Doesn't matter how much money you make he needs to pay child support, and you make sure it is enforced.
You really need to go to a lawyer, bills are both your responsibility. If indeed any bill is in his name i.e. utilities, phone, cable etc. Turn these services off immediately and put them in your name. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for bills only in his name. If you have credit cards with both your names on it call them immediately to cancel so that he can not charge and you will be responsible.
As far as revenge is concerned the best revenge is to be calculating not emotional. The ex wife thing is excellent make sure she knows he is not doing what she thinks that she is. Go have sex, but never ever tell anyone and never let anyone know what you are doing. Make him get the divorce. You have to understand that if you contest this divorce it will be in court for along time...he will not get off scott free since he will pay for it. DON'T YOU PAY FOR IT..it is his idea let him pay off lawyers. Make it as difficult as possible for him. He is manipulating you making you feel that you should do what he feels is right!!!! NO WAY!!! This is on your terms..you do what you want you drive this not him or the elders. I will be thinking of you.
Leslie
Ooooooh RunningMan, you are evil jes like me.........it must be a Canadian thing...eh?
