A Canadian's Rant

Yizuman

Below is posted from another forum....

We Americans gotta come up with something to counterpoint the Canadians!

Here he says are reasons why Canadians are the best.....

Quote:

1. Smarties, Coffee Crisp, and Crispy Crunch are the win (Canadian.)

2. Big football fields, and one less down = l33t Football.

3. Baseball, Lacrosse, Hockey, Basketball and APPLE PIE are Canadian.

4. Mr. Dressup > Mr. Rogers, (reportedly ghey, if I remember.)

5. Pizza Delivery service, founded in Canada.

6. In the only head to head war in Canadian history, the War of 1812, (Started by Americans,) Canadians fought, and pushed them back past their 'White House.' Then we burned it, along w/ most of Washington under the drunk and insane command of William Lyon McKenzie King. We got bored when they ran away and came home to get wasted, go figure.

-sidebar, dont get mad America. I <3 You, this is just a rantish sorta point.

7. Our Geography is some of the most diverse anywhere in the World, from our large landlocked lakes, to our towering mountian ranges, all the way down to our uber fishing rivers and colossal Forests.

8. We have the largest English population that has NEVER, ever surrendered in a war. To anyone, or anywhere.

9. Our Civil war was a barfight that lasted like 2 hours.

10. The only person arrested in our Civil war was an American spy, who fell asleep and woke up just in time to get caught.

11. Healthcare.

12. Healthcare.

13. An average dogsled team can catch and devour a fullgrown human in like, 3 minutes.

14. IMAX

15. We dont marry our cousins.

16. Sea-doos, Jetskis, Velcro, Zippers, Washing Machines, all Canadian.

17. Insulin, Penicillin, Pacemakers, Telephones, and Shortwave Radios save countless lives all over the globe, and are all Canadian.

18. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit into with mitts on, and while Im on the subject of Beer, ours was, is, and always will be the win.

19. Our weed will F00K U UP BOI, best on the planet. (Canabis Cup wins, several, and consecutive.) and its decriminalized. (Soon.)

20. We're bigger, and we're on top, if the world were Jail, you'd be our bitch.

Now, there are a TON more reasons why Canada kicks ass. So learn your shit before cracking off about someones nationality when you have absolutely NO *** CLUE about what youre talking about.

You sir, are a jackass.

(Most, but not all of this information was compiled off several sites on the internet, and is not 'entitely' my own work, though some is.)
! I AM BATMAN

,.|.. >_<..|.,

Lemme see if I can come up with some good USA reasons why we're the best...

1.) The US Forces are the best in the world. We kick butt!

I'll think of more later. Too tired today!

Yiz

RunningMan

"Then we burned it, along w/ most of Washington under the drunk and insane command of William Lyon McKenzie King."

Speaking of drunk and insane... William Lyon McKenzie King wasn't born until 1874.

Satanus

Yiz

Now ya went and spilled the beans. We were keeping that secret, so our nieghbors wouldn't feel threatened in any way. Are you a spy, or something?

SS

Analysis

The ten reasons Canada is the weak sister of the US.

They think the Monarch in England is still an important individual on the World Scene

The US Hockey Teams are now better then their proud Canadian teams

8. All the really good Canadians play for US Teams

If their Healthcare was so great, why do the rich come to the states to be treated?

Beaches, they come to the US in April and think it is the middle of summer

The Montreal Expos Good team no support

The Canadian $ is only worth 72 US Cents

If Canadian Football is so great, why do the good players finally end up in the NFL?

For that matter most of the talented Canadians come to the US to make a living. Singer, Actors, Hockey Players you name it they come to the US

And the number one reason Eastern Canada will one-day be the 51 st state in the Great United States. They have the largest group of French Speaking people outside of France. They don’t realize that they have a Civil War in their Future. The Western Canadians will not continue to put up with the French. And the Eastern Provinces will not survive on their own.

PS the war of 1812 was between England and the US. Yea they burned the White House, but Andy Jackson kicked some British Arses.

mouthy

Wont debate about this!!!! Of course Canada is the best country in the world. You only just learned that Yiz!!!!??? Your behind the times love (((hug))

ignorance is strength

Hey Analysis

10 responses to your 10 reasons why the US is better than Canada

10) Canadians truly couldn't give a damn about the Queen

9) Who won the Gold Medal in both Men's and Women's Hockey?

8)Thats because the American Empire hijacked the NHL

7)Rich people don't like to wait

6)More heat in the US means more smog therefore, Canada has cleaner air and is subsequently better

5)Baseball sucks and the majority of Canadians are opposed to that pseudo-sport

4)A Low Canadian dollar means a more competitive economy

3)See #8 but replace NHL with football

2)Because they have falled for the lie that is America

1)HA! you americans are foolish, we are too apethetic to have a civil war and Quebec separatism is decreasing especially with the election of the Quebec Liberal Party (a right-center-left party) Atlantic Canada has oil and potential for tourism and filming. The American Empire will fall before the US takes over Canada

And another thing, Canada is a Dominion of the British Empire therefore I am proud to say that the British Empire (which includes canada) kicked your ass at Queenston Heights and burnt down your White House.

ignorance is strength

Hey Analysis

10 responses to your 10 reasons why the US is better than Canada

10) Canadians truly couldn't give a damn about the Queen

9) Who won the Gold Medal in both Men's and Women's Hockey?

8)Thats because the American Empire hijacked the NHL

7)Rich people don't like to wait

6)More heat in the US means more smog therefore, Canada has cleaner air and is subsequently better

5)Baseball sucks and the majority of Canadians are opposed to that pseudo-sport

4)A Low Canadian dollar means a more competitive economy

3)See #8 but replace NHL with football

2)Because they have falled for the lie that is America

1)HA! you americans are foolish, we are too apethetic to have a civil war and Quebec separatism is decreasing especially with the election of the Quebec Liberal Party (a right-center-left party) Atlantic Canada has oil and potential for tourism and filming. The American Empire will fall before the US takes over Canada

And another thing, Canada is a Dominion of the British Empire therefore I am proud to say that the British Empire (which includes canada) kicked your ass at Queenston Heights and burnt down your White House.

Valis

Canada may have better beer than us, but everyone knows we have better beer drinkers! Texas alone can put the Canadian Branch of Apostates to shame....Ask Brother Beans who passed out first!...

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

micheal

#1 reason Canada rocks - WITHOUT ANY DOUBT AT ALL - CANADIAN WOMEN ARE MUCH HOTTER THAN AMERICAN WOMEN ( except for a few exceptions. i.e all the american and canadian ladies of this forum are all equally fine )

iiz2cool

BEEEELLLLLLCH!!!
Ah, that was a good one, courtesy of Labatts Finest! (Maximum Ice 7% alcohol)

Brother Valis is absolutely correct about the superiority of Canadian beer. But I'm sure Brother Beans was stricken with some unrelated malady that could have, unfortunately, temporarily diminished his capacity for fine brew. Could he have been drinking American beer? Hmmmmmm!

As each day passes, the Canadian Branch of Apostates enjoys increase, and there are many new ones who can suck suds with the best of 'em! Hell, we ARE the best of 'em!

Michael, I have to agree with you - Canadian women are VERY HOT!!! But I've met some very hot American women too. Perhaps they can trace their roots back to Canada?

Walter
Canadian Overbeer

A Canadian's Rant

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