Twisted Reasoning

by Perry 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Perry
    Perry

    I found thes illustrations on a JW site that made me realize how nice it is to not have mind numbing rhetoric served to me several times a week. What a sad position I used to be in.

    Stay Close to Jehovah's Organisation


    An older gentleman and a great horseman one day took his grandson for a ride in his horse and buggy. As the were riding along they talked about the beauty of Jehovah's Creation. Then a bee landed on the back of the horse. The older man said that he was able to take his whip and with a gentle snap he could whip that bee right off the back of the horse without ever touching the horse.

    "Watch" he said, and then with the precision of a marksman he took his whip and snap the bee was gone without ever touching the horse or the horse ever knowing what had happened. Next he saw a bee on a petal of a flower. "Watch", he said and with a single snap of the whip he took the bee off of the blower, without ever touching the flower.

    As they were riding along the boy noticed a bee-hive. "Look grandpa, there's a beehive, why don't you just whip them out of the tree?" "Oh, no, we can't do that" said grandpa. "You see, they are united and as a united group they are strong and courageous. We had better no try and touch them."


    And so it is with Jehovah's People. If we wander away from the protection of the unity and love of Jehovah's organization we become weak and vulnerable, but in a group, we are strong and it is very hard for Satan to attack.

    Protected as one


    Have you ever noticed how many bananas grow in a cluster? When they stay as a cluster they are strong and united as one. But what happens when one gets taken from that cluster?

    Well, the banana soon gets peeled and eaten.

    And so it is in Jehovah's congregation. When we stay as one cluster we are strong, but when we drift away from the protection of that cluster, we can soon loose our strong spiritual protection from Jehovah. Before we know it we are eaten up by the great Lion that is ready to devour us.


    Horse "Not-Looking-So-Good"


    Did you hear of the man that had a horse for sale. This man did not speak too much English, so when the buyer came he told the buyer that the horse was "not-looking-so-good".

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    I used to hate their reasoning on different subjects.

    Remember the one about how the Org used to get things wrong? They likened it to a boat that swings from side to side in the wind, but eventually gets to its destination.

  • ballistic
    ballistic
    Have you ever noticed how many bananas grow in a cluster? When they stay as a cluster they are strong and united as one. But what happens when one gets taken from that cluster?

    Well, the banana soon gets peeled and eaten.

    This sounds like something that Alan Partridge would say. (English comedian)

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    Ballistic

    BACK OF THE NET !

    DAN !! DAN !! DAN!!! DAN !!! DAN !!! DAN !!!! DAN !! DAN !!!!! DAN !!!! DAN !!!! DAN !!!!!

    ( don't think he can hear me )

    DAN !!! DAN !!! DAN !!!

  • avengers
    avengers

    Presents to you proudly the movie.

  • Perry
    Perry

    Yes Ballistic, it is halliarous to hear someone seriously refer to themselves as a cluster of banannas.

    Revelation Something: And a strong angel proceeded to thrust in his sickle and and to reap the cluster of bannanas saying, "...and the cluster of bannanas is ripe". And the wicked ones were seen slipping, falling, and beating themselves with grief saying, " Oh, if only we had not slipped on the divine bannana peels...".

    What the hell were we thinking? It's good to laugh about it now...if we can.

    The rest of the wisdom from above can be seen here:

    http://www.ping.be/~pin00330/jw/only/

  • xenawarrior
    xenawarrior
    Revelation Something: And a strong angel proceeded to thrust in his sickle and and to reap the cluster of bannanas saying, "...and the cluster of bannanas is ripe". And the wicked ones were seen slipping, falling, and beating themselves with grief saying, " Oh, if only we had not slipped on the divine bannana peels...".

    ROTFLMAO !!!! Thanks for the morning chuckle Perry !!!

    XW

  • avengers
    avengers

    Hey Perry. What's the purpose of your site?

    wanna know. Andy

  • smack
    smack

    are you a banana or a lemon?

  • Perry
    Perry

    Avengers,

    The tab at the top that reads "About Us" tells all.

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