Building Trust

by Maverick 18 Replies latest social relationships

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Trust is a fundamental requirement for sucessful living. It is the foundation of all our actions and interactions. Without it we are impotent, fearful, creatures living cold emplty lives!

    My core belief is to take people at face value until proven otherwise. Many take the very opposite view. Each has it advantages and I am not trying to defend my particular belief system, hell I might change my mind! I do know my parents developed in me a feeling of their trust and I have tried to do the same with my daughter.

    For the sake of keeping this simple, the type of trust I am talking about is NON SEXUAL! Everything seem to end up with sex here so let's leave that out!

    Example, I leave my home in the care of my daughter for months at a time. She has lived up to this and I feel she is a better person for it. I bought a new pickup truck when I came back from my last trip. It had 11 miles on it, sweet! I let my daughter drive the first day. I let one of my employees take it that Friday to take his girl friend to the movies, his was in the shop! I believe in showing these people that I trust them and they have lived up to the image I have set out for them. Will they mess up? Maybe, but they know I trust them and that they are basically good and trust worthy folks.

    The WatchTower violated the trust I placed in them...They told me I could trust them, that God was backing them. Once I knew they were liars the trust was gone and it ain't comming back...ever.

    How trusting are you? And how do you show the ones you trust that trust? Maverick

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  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32
    My core belief is to take people at face value until proven otherwise.

    Maverick: I'm exactly the same... I tend to trust unless the person does something to indicate that I shouldn't. I know many have the opposite viewpoint, but I find that a bit depressing...

    I have only been bit a couple times by trusting people when I really shouldn't have, so overall it has worked well for me.

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  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    BTW can I borrow your truck?

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  • ballistic
    ballistic

    I totally agree with your philosophy, although have you lived you're whole life and not let someone down yourself? And my answer to it is total honesty, total honesty is the partner to total trust.

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  • moonwillow
    moonwillow

    I agree, I will give a person my trust and they have it until they destroy it and they may never get it back.

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  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Gentlemen, being all too human, I have fail to live up to all that has been entrusted to me at one point of another. Mostly as a younger man. It the last few years I have come to cherish the trust put in me by my family and clients. I have clients that give me the keys and codes to their muilti-million dollars homes and leave the country. When traveling, my customers allow me free access their extra cars, trucks, and boats to use while I am working for them. I have the key to a factory one of my customers has, just in case he gets a buyer for the property and needs the place remodeled while he is away.

    I know my daughter or employees might fall short or use poor judgement at times...I have. But I think they see the trust I have in them and this lifts them up to see themselves that way too. "As you think..so shall you become!" Maverick

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  • termite 35
    termite 35

    That's a good philosophy to have Maverick, and it certainly does seem to work most of the time for me-I have keys to people's places etc due to the nature of my job and have we have built up trust over the years so that now some are surrogate grandparents to my children and others life-long friends, and we'd never let eachother down and look after eachother outside of the working enviroment.

    On the other hand I have been too trusting in the past which has backfired dreadfully on me.I do tend to assume that everyone I meet is basically as they present themselves, and on the few occasions I went against my instincts and trusted people who were dishonest and manipulitive have been hurt very badly and this has had serious lasting affects on me.

    But I could never be a mistrustful person -I would'nt want to be like that -I want to believe that we all basically good and noone means me any harm and believe that the more love and trust you place in people the more they'll respond-but I am more careful now and use better judgement..

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  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Good thread, Maverick...There've been TOO many occasions in my life where my trust in others has been destroyed, beginning as a child....through most of it, I maintained an attitude of trust and like the Pollyanna I was, I was always shocked and amazed when people would blatantly betray my trust, including fam members....now it's come to the point where (especially "A.W." - after the watchtower) people hafta PROOVE to me that they're trustworthy....over a period of time....I don't initially trust anyone anymore....

    Frannie B

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  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Dear Termite 35, you bring out a good point about going against our gut feelings. We have to trust ourselves first of all. If I get a bad feeling about a person, they get nothing. I will test people out too! I have seen the very wealthy do this. They will give a person an opportunity to burn them and see if that one will take it! I have seen them get burned for a few thousand dollars, knowing full well they saved themselves hundreds of thousands by seeing this person for who he is! I have allowed myself to be cheated out of a few hundred dollars here and there, but them that did, lost far more than they gained!

    As I get older I see the only real value is people. All other things are secondary. People worthy of love and trust are the stuff of life! Maverick

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  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Dear Frannie, The ability and capacity to trust is the key idea. People will fail us, we will fail ourselves. But the 'well' we draw our ability to love and trust remains intact. At our core we see ourselves as loving, trusting people. Some are worthy of what we offer, many are not. As long as we remain true to that self image, we will be happy! Maverick

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