by Adam 35 Replies latest jw friends
I too, was raised a witness. Though I do not allow the past to dictate my future, there will always be something there to remind me of my time being a witness. I take what I learned, good and bad, and apply it to my life.
What I won't let it do is run my life, and fret about it.
Let's put it this way, last night I dreamed that I was going from door to door and when the householder answered I ran away - wish I was making this up. I dream about borg stuff once every few weeks. I know that this experience will be with me always. I'm trying to keep the good and leave the bad and ugly behind. I agree with Cruithne that years in the borg has taught me to be compassionate, there was such a lack of it in the cong. People have needs that the borg didn't meet yet promised to do so. I'm a Christian now. There are some things I will never do or be involved in because of my time as a JW and there are things I will be involved in despite having been a JW. It's my life now. I own it. This board has helped me to heal and move on. But it will always be there, lingering - the ghost of my JW self. Some of my family is still in so there are constant reminders. Yet, I can't get over how much happier I am now that I'm out. - V Sky
For me, just having been AROUND JW's for a number of years (since I managed to avoid being Baptized) will have an impact on me for life... However, as many others have stated here - this is not all a bad thing. Personally, I feel I have grown a great deal as an individual and have my eyes MORE OPEN to other people and their motives in ways that I wouldn't have - If I had not had that past experience... and I consider that a valuable asset now really.
However, for many who have spent a large majority of their lives in this org, and even raised families in it - they may look back on those many long years more with bitterness than growth... I do not believe that any life is a waste.. but I understand the bitterness all the same. All I can hope is that most if not all of these can let go of their bitterness and find some kind of happiness for the remainder of their lives - For any bit of freedom from the JW religion, long or shorter, is well earned... and should not ALSO be handed over to them in wasteful bitterness...
I was raised to be a JW as well. My mom and dad were Catholic. My dad never became a JW, but was a non-practicing Catholic.And my childhood was in the '50's which left my teenage years and young adult life to be lived in the '60. I have seen lots and lots of changes, people coming and going. etc. I do think having values based on the Bible is a good thing--but I also had guilt probably because of my parents being raised Catholic. So there was a double whammy with me.
I have come to learn most recently though that life can throw you a curve ball right out of the blue, especially when your mind is on something completely different, and can throw you for a loop. I am experiencing that right now, and hopefully I can share this later. Life happens...and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it.
I'll always feel a little happier every time it rains on Saturday morning and I can roll over, snuggle down, drink some wine, and go to sleep.
It's like having almost starved to death. you always appreciate food a little more than the man who has never been hungry. Was it worth it? Not a question I can answer - but I do thank God every day now for a life free of the borg. It happened, is all I can say, and I'm determined to do something positive with it - like go back to sleep!
CZAR
I too was another one born into it, until the real truth hit me at age 17. I left and never looked back since. But if it wasn't for the experiences and feelings, both positive and negative, that this cult caused, I would not be the person that I am today, if I'd not been brought up JW. It will always be with you; for better or worse.
Si
For a lot of people coming out of the JW-religion/cult there is a new group feeling... we all feel part of the ex-JW-community. So I think, we stick with it for the rest of our lives. Especially when you continue using this board to reflect on your past... and things related to the JW-ism. :-)
Greetings... and if there are others from Belgium reading this board, please contact me. Maybe we have common "friends". ;-)
Prins Vaillant
It will be with me for the rest of my life. Maybe when I'm a really old man some will come up to me and tell me I was right and because I left they were able to get up the courage to leave as well.
Studies indicate that roughly half of our personality's automatic responses are formed by age 4. Another quarter, roughly, are by age 8, and twenty percent or so by age 16.
These can be altered by continuous repetition or by significant emotional events, but barring those, 95% of how you react to the world around you has been learned by 16 or so.
So the WTS influence in my thoughts will continue till I die. Its influence on my behavior... that's a different story. If I wasn't on this board I could say it influences my behavior very little - but I'd be lying, cause I'm here.
For life...But the future is bright: my children will never have to go through what I did. Life is so much better now.
